CAS WR 100 Lecture Notes - Lecture 30: Frederic Tudor, Ice King, Human Capital
19 Mar 2016
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Some of the comments that were most helpful to me was how readers criiqued my introducion paragraph strongly. I understand that my introducion had many errors in my drat and ended up becoming very unclear. Ater given feedback on what my thesis sounded like, i rewrote my introducion several imes to highlight its main points. My thesis sounded like i was focusing on personality and how that inluenced locaion. However, what i meant to say was that tudor uilized his locaion and environment to improve his ice business based of many factors in locaion. I soon had a well thought out thesis. Throughout the essay, readers also said that i needed beter organizaion and clearer choices of words and how locaion connects to innovaion. I realized that i had a lot of extra informaion not needed in the essay and had to delete many of it.
