HDFS 1070 Lecture 26: Lecture Notes 12/11
23 Jan 2017
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Guideline for living:
1. Understand the sources of anxiety, how it influences our lives, and how to contain it
(it never get’s eliminated!)
- our psychological emotional well being has so much to do with how we manage anxiety
- emotional difficulties are overloaded with anxiety
- sources of anxiety that come from our developmental experiences - byproduct of social
relationships within family
- anxiety is around trust, mattering, or competences
- byproduct of whether people meet our needs, provide us with tools to succeed
2. You cannot change the past
- As we get older and we are trying to manage these anxieties, we have to recognize we
can’t change the past and have no control of it.
- We have to make choice on how to live a more purposeful life and respond to anxiety
with good coping methods.
- When anxiety gets in the way of the quality of our life, we can say “enough is enough”
and accept we can’t change our experiences. Figure out how to go on.
- prevention vs. intervention
- we perpetuate our own misery by focusing on what we don’t have control over
3. You can only change yourself
4. Don’t chase distancers
- we make ourselves miserable in relationships by chasing after people who distance
because they are anxious about connection
- this is their problem and I’m going to chase, “I’m worthy” “I believe god relationships are
possible”
- best relationships occur when people choose to be in relationships with us
- intimacy = choice, fulfilling relationships are intentional
5. Learn how to love
- we can learn to be generous, empathic, nurturing
- anxiety is the obstacle
- learning how to love = containing our anxiety
- practicing being caring, playing, sensitive, empathic
- love and intimacy should not require the people that you love to compromise who they
are
- when a relationship becomes conditional, it’s not a loving relationship
- “I’ll only love you if you give up things about your life that makes me anxious”
- place conditions on people in relationships create an oppressive environment
- function of being in love = enhance joy in what you do in life
6. Allow yourself to be impulsive
- people tend to overthink things, not experiencing life in a joyful and intentional way
- mindfucking → all in your mind, fucking with yourself the whole time
- thinking and not living
7. Enjoy people more than work
find more resources at oneclass.com
find more resources at oneclass.com
Document Summary
Guideline for living: understand the sources of anxiety, how it influences our lives, and how to contain it (it never get"s eliminated!) Our psychological emotional well being has so much to do with how we manage anxiety. Emotional difficulties are overloaded with anxiety sources of anxiety that come from our developmental experiences - byproduct of social relationships within family. Anxiety is around trust, mattering, or competences. Byproduct of whether people meet our needs, provide us with tools to succeed: you cannot change the past. As we get older and we are trying to manage these anxieties, we have to recognize we can"t change the past and have no control of it. We have to make choice on how to live a more purposeful life and respond to anxiety with good coping methods. When anxiety gets in the way of the quality of our life, we can say enough is enough and accept we can"t change our experiences.
