The thought of expanding your friend group in a place with likely thousands of people can be scary. It’s not always easy to go out and find someone to spend those days after class with; somehow though, we end up seeing others managing to do it. You’ve got concerns and we got tips!
1. The Secret
One of the reasons some people may feel making friends is difficult is because they didn’t have any to start and therefore have no game plan to copy. There’s this fear that if you admit you have no friends currently you have sealed the deal on ever getting any period, this my dears, is simply untrue. It’s no secret that people are lonely, they won’t say it aloud but if you look at any of the social media posts floating around, the feeling is evident. You can create a game plan from scratch; no one is an expert at life, it’s a whole bunch of trial and error work that goes into getting to where you want to be. Now that you’re letting that sink in, let’s move on!
2. Just Go With It
College may be the place you hear about teamwork the most, any and everything you do revolves around working with other people. Some people have gone their entire college lives not interacting with others and staying generally to themselves, while it works for some it’s actually a lot harder than it seems. It takes an incredible amount of energy to avoid the multitude of free events that go on at BGSU no matter where you are, sometimes they’re right outside your door in the hall itself. Take advantage of these seriously! At least once a week scout events on campus and find one thing you are interested in going to. There are going to be people there just like you, who don’t know a single other soul at the event. Conversations can be started about anything, it doesn’t have to be a grand entrance with lights and signs begging someone to be your friend, it can be a simple “This turned out better than I thought, what made you decide to come tonight?” You will be amazed at how much a simple branch can improve your social life.
3. Weird Interests?
Have you ever had someone ask what you’re into and suddenly “forget” the truths and settle for generic lies. That blank space that just popped up in your head may be a mixture of anxiety and shame, it’s time to break that wall down. For every weird interest you have, there is someone in the world who not only shares it but may have another that dominates it completely. Bowling Green State University’s campus has over 300 clubs based on almost everything that people wanted to be apart of. While that number does seem big I’m sure it’s nothing compared to the hundreds or even thousands of more silent interests and ideas that never made the books. Are you following our school’s social media? BGSU has a Facebook page made just for the 2021 class (cheers!), create a post there that talks about what you’re into. It can be as simple as “Does anyone else watch the Sherlock series?” That little sentence just carried you to a potential friend group that spends their days over food discussing the latest episode.
Create fliers and post them around campus as well, if you’re really into something take some time out to make one and see who comes. There are usually free, quiet places around campus where a small group could meet and chat. “Are you a Sherlock fan? Come Nerd out at the discussion in room 201 tomorrow at 8:00.” Did only a few people show up? Don’t let this get you down, hold your head up and move on with your event. The people who came there wanted to be there and they are only there because they read what you had to say. You have much more power than you think when it comes to using the true about you page to describe yourself.
“I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR FRIENDS.” This is one of the last excuses some people have to fall on as an acceptable reason for why they haven’t made or been successful on their journey for friends. College is far from a cake walk, homework, exams, and all other types of study may drain your time significantly leaving you with barely enough seconds to breath. We may be able to fix that, first consider this thought: Your life is based around time, a thing we constructed. So if you want to find some real happiness one of the ways will be learning how to navigate the time you have. It’s easy to submit under the pressure and lock yourself away in the room but we all know that just won’t pay off in the long run.
People are awesome, we’ve come up with a million ways to communicate. If you don’t have time to devote to clubs or other campus events consider trying the Bumble App. This app is on the new wave of thinking that says “We don’t want every social app to be just about dating.” Bumble has a BFF section to their app that allows you to meet others of your gender for platonic connections. The app can used on Apple and Android devices and setting up a profile is beyond easy. Imagine you’re in your dorm working on an assignment and get a ping on your phone, who is it? A Bumble match! You can chat this person up who most likely lives close to you and work out a multitude of things to do that don’t require squeezing your schedule for extra outside events. One of the most popular pastimes are group watching movies, videos and TV shows using Rabbit, a screen sharing website with rooms that can hold up to 25 friends.
5. Self Love
This one is last it is one of the most important points in the whole list. You already know you want to your social life to begin to blossom and while you work hard to make that happen consider the traits that make you special and the parts of you that you love the most. I assure you that if you have something about you that you adore and are open about others will too. Confidence and push you far to wherever you want to be! I know you may have anxieties, or feel like you’re just not interesting but with the billions of souls in the world and the thousands that managed to end up at your campus someone is going to find you to be incredible you just have to realize that you are too! Despite the chronic shyness that’s almost embedded in other students, people both notice and actively move away from people that they peg is unconfident and sad.
Make your happiness with yourself a priority and everything else will follow, it’s a magnetic feeling that can be easily spread to others around you. Everyday if you can, say three good things about yourself in the mirror. It sounds silly now until you wake up and do it out of habit; You stand there finally coming to the realization that you are lying to yourself or saying these things halfheartedly anymore. You mean it and you know it’s true, the ability to love yourself seems to be a dying one that can undoubtedly be restored if we really work for it and keep hope.