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Im fat lets party 30

You’re totally going to school for the meal plans and midterms, right? Yes, feeding yourself is important, and hitting the books will (hopefully) pay off in the form of a perfect GPA. But you’d be kidding yourself if you tried to tell the world you aren’t at least a little bit curious about college parties. So, without further ado, here’s your best/worst throwdown breakdown.

Best

1. You get to dance

Whether from the speakers of a local DJ’s pro setup or a classmate’s laptop, the music will be blaring—which means you’ll have every reason to bust a move! Don’t be afraid to dab while showing off your best Cupid Shuffle. 

2. You’ll have the most random conversations

Chatting up new people at parties may read as intimidating, but, believe me, the sound bites are so worth it. I once had a conversation with a guy who swore he was best friends with a famous rapper. Did I believe him? No. Do my friends and I still talk about it? You bet.

3. There’s always more than one

Party hopping’s where it’s at! Even if Party #1 feels like the best night of your life, there’s a strong chance Party #2 is equally promising. Grab your squad, roam the block, and leave no party unattended.

4. Weeknight parties are a thing

Partying doesn’t have to be a weekend-only sport. In college, every night comes with its own reason to celebrate! Taco Tuesday and Thirsty Thursday will be there for you when Saturday’s not coming soon enough and you need motivation to get through the week.

Worst

1. Getting in gets tricky

Several parties welcome just about anyone. Some, unfortunately, place a bit more red tape over their front doors. The party could be private. If this is the case, the host might ask who you know. (Hope you’re a good guesser!) The party could also be capped. In that situation, it’s best to cut your losses and try the house next door.

2. Space is limited

You haven’t truly felt like a canned sardine until you’ve spent three hours in the basement of a college house party. Navigating your way to the drink table is about as fast-paced as swimming in wet cement. Oh, and good luck finding a working/available bathroom.

3. You’re going to get sweaty

In addition to the stalled forward progress and bursting bladder, tightly packed parties will provide you with a pair of drenched armpits. What’s worse? You can expect everyone else to be just as sweat-soaked. Plug your nose, plot your course, and fight your way across any path that leads to a window or backyard.


4. They’re prime police targets

Cops can’t bust every single party, but you won’t want to be around for the ones that do butt heads with the law. One of my friends nearly broke his ankle hopping the fence to escape a party gone south. Have fun, but always play it safe—and never try to show a fence who’s boss.


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