1. The Frat Lord
This is the coolest dude you’ll meet, you’ll be charmed by his widespread use of the words “lit, bez, and dope”. Proudly flashing his letters and his smile, nothing can stop him now (especially with his brothers at his side)
2. Sorority Service Queen
Yes, we know that sorority girls are more than just pink and sparkles. Yes, we know you guys are passionate about your philanthropy. Yes, we know the sisterhood is forever. We love you girls and your chants… maybe just as much as you love your big.
3. The Proud Performers
Chances are if there is a crowd gathered, there is a Mason Grosser around. Proud of their art (maybe sometimes a little too much), they aren’t afraid to flaunt their style everywhere. Their dorms, practice, the bathroom, the street, my ear…
4. The Facebook obsessed
Another notification from the infamous meme poster in your graduating class’s facebook group. They rack up the likes (and hearts) of their graduating class. Although they hate being known as “insert name” from facebook, we know you love it and we love you… just as long as the posting frequency goes down by a little
5. The rebels
The bus system sucks, My midterm timing sucks, the snow removal sucks, the housing sucks, you hate your shoes, or even you’re hungry! Rutgers is the enemy, so let’s spark up a revolution via facebook posts and change the world.
6. The night owls
You will only know them from your crazy nights out and late night walks (do people take those anymore). They seem to vanish during the day and only appear at the words “frat party”. What kind of magic is that?
7. The labored library residents.
The library is a wonderful place to study…and eat…and sleep…and watch netflix…and hoard a table for the rest of the year. If this person is ever missing you will definitely find them at some of Rutgers finest hotels; the Kilmer Hotel or Alexander Bed and Breakfast.
8. Easton Eaters
Tacoria, Nirvani’s, Cookie Rush, Neubies. You name it, and they’ve had it. They can direct you to any food source no matter what your mood is. Oh the easton eaters, full stomachs and empty wallets.
9. RU Fit?
Fit Bit? Check. Gallon of water? Check. Determination? Check. Making everyone else well like a potato? Check. These glorious, horrible people make the rest of us lazies look even worse for having that “twisted ankle” for the past 2 years. Damn your perfectly sculpted bodies.
10. The Class Cutting Champs
We see them at the dining halls, on the buses, at every party, they’re at every event. They are everywhere BUT class. The mystery of how they manage to stay at Rutgers remains a mystery to us all.
11. Netflix & Nappers
Finally after an out of order LX, 2 bus driver breaks, and a random downpour they finally made it to class. Props to them but you don’t actually know why they came at all… it’s biology but the only anatomy being studied is Grey’s…
12. Tinder Trolls
Swipe left if they suck, Swipe right if they don’t (so basically swipe left). They give this app a bad name by using horrible pickup lines followed with empty demands to meet up. Yup, who said chivalry was dead?
13. The Overachiever
I hate you. The perfect looking person who is healthy, has a booming social life, amazing grades, and a job just waiting to be grabbed by them and only them. I hate you. Go Away. Bye.