When your significant other goes to another school, it can be so hard to stay connected and keep a strong relationship going. There are a lot of struggles that we go through to make it work- but if the relationship is meant to be this will be the way to find out!
1. Your relationship has to have a solid foundation
In order for a long distance relationship to work, you have to start with a really good relationship. The good and bad thing about a LDR, is that couples will find out very quickly if their foundation is weak. The bad thing is it will lead to a quick breakup if the relationship isn’t great, but the good news is you’ll find that out sooner or later, and won’t have to waste your time with someone who probably wasn’t right for you in the first place.
2. Communication is essential
You need to have constant communication in a LDR. Because you don’t get to see them everyday, you need to make sure you’re still connecting on the daily. You have to find the time to text and call, and this is probably the biggest commitment to these kinds of relationships. But if you really care about the other, this shouldn’t be hard.
3. You’ll find out if you really want to commit
If you aren’t totally obsessed with someone, the commitment of a LDR probably won’t be worth it. If you find yourself not really wanting to call, not really missing them, or getting annoyed with being alone, you will probably end the relationship. LDR’s a much more effective if the goal is long term.
4. It’s hard work… but less of a distraction
A lot of people say they “don’t have time” for a LDR. But people who go to the same school as their s/o have to find time everyday to hangout with and be with the other. While this is by no means a bad thing, it definitely requires a bigger time commitment. Being in a LDR means you can get more done when you are away from them, which can be a huge difference as a student.
5. You have to deal with constant judgement from others
People love to think they know the details of relationships that they aren’t even in. People will tell you that you’re wasting your time, or that they’re going to cheat on you. They’ll assume you “aren’t enjoying your time in college”. All of this pressure will probably effect you, but you have to know in your heart how important your relationship is to you, not to other people.
6. You find creative ways to “spend time together” despite being hundreds of miles apart
Thank goodness for modern technology! Setting “skype” dates and watching movies at the same time “together” are just some of the ways to stay connected and bond together even though you’re apart.
7. You get jealous of their college friends
You obviously don’t want your s/o to sit at home all the time and wait sorrowfully for you to come visit them. But it can be hard not to feel envious towards the people who see them more than you do.
8. Time together with your s/o is so much more rewarding
Every chance you have to be with them becomes something you are incredibly grateful for. Every simple date becomes extraordinary because of how little you get to experience those simple things.
9. You will become incredibly jealous of the simplest privileges of couples not in long distance relationships
Sometimes you’ll see a couple kiss before going into class. Your heart throbs because you will never understand that privilege.
10. Parties can be hard
Going out to parties and other social events where couples are often found together can be a challenge. Watching people flirt with and interact with the people they’re interested in makes you wish you were with your s/o. You see everyone going home with the ones they love and you have to go home alone.
11. You get to “find yourself” in college, while having amazing love and support along the way
A benefit of these relationships is that it allows you to explore what interests you and makes you happy outside of the relationship. It’s important in any long term commitment that each person has their own hobbies and fun, so long distance paves the path for that. However, while you figure out yourself as a young adult, you still have the benefits of a s/o that loves and supports everything you’re doing (hopefully).
12. The fear of the other cheating is a heavy one
This is a huge struggle for people who spend weeks and even months without being together. How can you avoid imagining them finding someone new and more convenient? And the fact that you have know way of knowing what they’re up to makes this even more challenging.
13. It all comes down to trust and love
Because you have no way of knowing what they’re doing, who they’re hanging out with, suspicion can be hard to avoid. But if you truly trust them, and they truly love you, there won’t be any reason to think that they aren’t as committed as you are.
14. If your relationship lasts, you’ve made it so much stronger along the way
The rewards you will get out of distance will be worth it in the long run. If you can get through the years of being apart, you can get through anything. Allow the struggles to shape the structure around your relationship, and reep the benefits when you can finally close the gap.