If you have ever taken a class in the Behavioral Sciences Building at UIC, you know how twisted the halls are. The main hall is shaped after the graph of some advanced integral in Calc 3, which leads to even more halls with even more random mathematical models. If you don’t try to get to class at least 15 minutes early on your first day, its pretty much a guaranteed tardy. We wanted to solve this enigma, but all we could do is theorize. So here are the 4 theories as to why BSB is a huge maze:

**This is a satirical article**

### 1) To Prevent Thievery

Even some Juniors need to take 5 minutes every once in a while to figure out where the exit is. If it takes them that long, how long would it take some random dude to get out after stealing some professor’s coffee maker? The law breaker would more likely starve to death then manage to escape. The thief would get thrown into jail, but campus security would get lost too and never find the guy either.

### 2) BSB is Alive

If you have ever watched The Maze Runner, it would be easy to draw parallels to BSB. It would explain why the classrooms are barely in numerical order, with classrooms jumping from 114 to 1197. Lets just hope you don’t get lost in BSB overnight.

### 3) Freshman Art Students Designed it

You can appreciate at least how pretty BSB is from the inside. Some of the halls have glass walls, which look like something from a high tech facility. However, if you cut the building in half lengthwise, it’s easy to see that there isn’t any symmetry at all. There is a theory that maybe some art student left their abstract art homework in the CafĂ© and the architects were like “What if we built this thing instead of a normal square building?”

### 4) The Architects Thought it Would be Funny

There are people who go into BSB and never come out again. If you let 100 children into the building, only 14 of them would make it out in time for Lunch. Sure, you’d laugh seeing undergrads running around in a panic trying to figure out how to get to the third floor, but my attendance doesn’t think it’s funny.

Cesar Monsalud

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