1. The Block M
In the middle of the diag in front of the graduate library lies a block M engraved in the pathway. Legend has it that stepping on the M will lead to failure of your first blue book exam. Though, just to be safe, most students and faculty will never step on the M as long as they live. At some point, it becomes a matter of respect.
There is one way to reverse your doom if you happen to step on the M. The student must run from the Pumas in front of the Museum of Natural History to the back of the Bell Tower and back between the first and last strokes of midnight, naked. Alas, the Bell Tower no longer strikes at midnight. So, if you step on the M you’re screwed.
2. Engineer Arch
It is said that if lovers kiss underneath the Engineering Arch at the end of the diag by South University Street at precisely midnight, they will get married. Now, divorce statistics have yet to be implemented in this legend.
If you didn’t know Euchre before, you sure as hell will after your time at UM. This abstract game of luck, teamwork, and strategic genius… Well, okay. I lied. I’ve been taught to play three times and I still have no idea. This Michigander tradition will haunt you for the rest of your life.
4. When OneClass.com gives out FREE Insomnia Cookies
OneClass is always on campus giving out Insomnia Cookies! Look, we are talking about free food here. It is only logical to accept. Don’t be stupid. Treat. Yo. Self.
You think you’ve seen a fat squirrel? Think again. Going home for my first winter break I thought the squirrels in MD were anorexic. These lil buddies are morbidly obese and extremely comfortable with humans. Come on up for a visit and you’ll have squirrels, along with the occasional raccoon, twirling through your feet to get your attention. Oh, and they are straight up ORANGE.
6. North Campus
If you are burdened with the misfortune of living on North Campus your freshman year and you’re not an engineer, Rest in Peace. North Campus is a 10 minute bus ride from central campus. So, if you’ve got classes on South and you live on North or vice versa you better get your ass to the bus stop the night before to make it on time. Don’t even think about scheduling classes on both campuses back to back.
North Campus is a safe haven for all engineering students to fulfill their wildest fantasies from building a Solar Car to 3D printing. To everyone else, it is a black hole of disorientation and isolation as you trudge past the zombie like engineering students who have just spent the past 72 hours of their lives perfecting one line of code.
7. Canada Goose
It’s no secret that a large portion of the student body is upper middle class. It shows in the $1,000+ Canada Goose jackets every Frat bro and Sorority sister seem to be wearing the second the temperature drops below 40 degrees (which, in Ann Arbor, is the equivalent of a warm spring day.)
8. There Are Two Seasons: Blizzard and Construction
Either it’s so cold your nose hairs freeze, or you wake up to the sweet serenade of power drills and creaking cranes. The musky scent of hazardous fumes are also quite lovely.
9. Fire Alarms
All I have to say is, the only practice fire alarm I was present for in my dorm last year was during my bi-yearly shower. I wasn’t finished, so I wrapped myself in a towel and marched out of those doors with dignity. It wasn’t too awkward. Weirder things have happened on campus.
10. Shoeless and Shameless
Speaking of weird, during an average day on campus, you will see at least one person walking around barefoot at any given time. Seriously, 10 degrees doesn’t stop these people. My roommate is one of them. I’m convinced that’s why I got sick.
11. Michigan Time
If your schedule says class starts at 11:30, it really begins at 11:40. This is an official campus wide practice. For those of us who have classes back to back, the 10 minute delay is a blessing. For the others of us who are chronically tardy, well, this changes nothing. You’ll get to class at 11:55, miss graded iclicker questions, regret your life choices, and have an extra obstacle to overcome as you re-adapt to the real world after college.
12. THE BIG HOUSE + HARBAUGH
Need I say more?