PS100 Lecture 13: Issue of grief and loss and the impact it may have in the classroom
Developmental Psychology - Tutorial 12
Issue of grief and loss and the impact it may have in the classroom
Individual:
- In their daily lives, many young children are exposed to experiences of loss. It may be the death of a
pet, a best friend moving far away, their parents getting a divorce, the death of a much loved
grandparent.
- A loss occurs when anything that is valued or anyone we are attached to is removed from our lives.
- Grief is the process by which we adjust to living with a significant loss - it is the pain of 'letting go’.
- Child may feel isolated because no one wants to talk about the death - Children will benefit greatly
from the teacher's support if it is provided.
- Sometimes young children believe that they were in some way responsible for the parent's death.
- While there is no 'best time' for anticipatory education about loss and grief, it needs to be done
in an environment of trust where children feel free to express their feelings.
- Young children may not yet understand that death is permanent and may often wonder and ask
repeatedly when their loved one is returning.
- Older children may become angry or find it difficult to concentrate and perform at school. Adolescents
may withdraw or start to engage in risky behaviour. Each child is different and often a child will
express their grief through their behaviour, rather than with their words. Sometimes the behaviours of a
grieving child may seem demanding or unreasonable, but it is important to remember that children and
young people are trying to feel loved, valued and cared for at a time when they are feeling sad,
fearful, confused and uncertain about their loss and the world around them.
Physical reactions of children
- Sleep disturbances in children and adolescents are very common following a death. Children may have
difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep due to worries and anxieties about themselves and others, or
they may have frightening dreams. They may feel that they need to sleep with a parent or loved one
in order to feel ‘safe’, or to feel that they are keeping others safe.
- Children may lose their appetite
- Children are likely to have difficulties focusing their attention on schoolwork or other tasks that they
were previously able to do.
Relational:
Teachers role:
- Primary school teachers are in an ideal situation to support children who may be experiencing loss
and grief and to prepare all children for future (eventual) experiences of loss.
- To best offer support to children experiencing loss and to provide anticipatory education to all children,
teachers themselves need to ‘be prepared' to face loss and grief.
- As well as being good listeners and good communicators, teachers need to be able to use the language
of loss, grief and death easily and naturally.
- They need to be aware of grief and bereavement patterns and be able to identify and come to terms
with their feelings about their own loss experiences.
- By being available, by offering the child the opportunity to talk and by really listening to the child's
feelings and concerns without being judgmental, teachers provide the child with much needed
support.
- When teachers acknowledge the child's grief at this time it is particularly helpful because other
important adults in the child's life may be distracted by their own grief.
- By being a supportive listener the teacher can reassure this child that the loss of the parent is not
punishment for some wrongdoing or caused by their having 'wished' the parent dead.
- By providing a stable and caring environment and re-establishing routine as soon as possible the
teacher can provide opportunities for the children to discuss what happened, to talk about the event.
- By answering their questions honestly, by allowing them to express their feelings and by accepting their
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