Psychology of Sexuality
Attachment and Jealousy:
- Levy and Kelly – argued that jealousy over romantic affairs is not best explained sing
evolutionary model of cross gender concerns of things like uncertainty of paternity and
rearing without investing mate. They said attachment style best predicts jealousy you
experience. Had people measure how upsetting they thought it was if partner cheated
emotionally or physically.
- Secure, preoccupied and fearful people find emotional cheating more upsetting. They are
terrified of abandonment. Secure people are upset by it because they have a working
model saying people won’t do those things to them and emotional cheating is a bad thing.
Everyone found both upsetting to some extent but dismissing type was unlikely to find
emotional more upsetting – less than 50%. Normative for dismissing people to not view
emotional more upsetting than sexual cheating.
- Sexual cheating: men always find it significantly more upsetting than women –
uncertainty of paternity. Dismissing – gender difference still significant but these people
in men and women find it more upsetting than they did in emotional.
- Attachment style is big predictor of which type of cheating you find more upsetting.
Evolutionary ideas still supported. But proximate causes are also in play.
- Why are dismissing people showing this – although dismissing people are not interested
in emotional closeness-they are interested in sex. They are upset by losing out on the
things they get from interpersonal relationship.
Can attachment Style change?
- Difficult but doable = takes a lot of work. Usually intense therapy where therapist
becomes attachment figure and hopes that the attachment you form with them can
- Effects of securely attached partner on insecurely attached one – changes expectations of
relationships. If secure person can stand being in the relationship – it shows that people
do think they are loveable and valuable – can change your mental representation of a
relationship. If you are insecure you don’t expect for someone to stick around and be
- They change communication – secure people tend to be calm and communicate their
problems in a way easier to hear especially when you are insecure. Communicating in
open way- they teach partners how to communicate in relationships. Secure people
expect that type of communication and they can elicit it from them. - Can teach them how to cope – they have good coping skills and through modelling them
they can teach partners the same behaviours.
- All of these things can be taught to insecure partner by secure partner through time.
- Effects of insecurely attached partner on securely target?
- - if you are freaking out and running around- you are going to draw histerical behaviour
from partner as well.As a consequence of being in relationship with someone insecure –
you can take on some of that insecure style of attachment.
- They can teach them their style of communication, expectations, and coping
- Believed that the break up would cure you as a secure person.
- Secure people-if they are solidly secure they get themselves out of these situations before
they can be greatly affected by them.
Non Normative Sexuality
- Not any kind of value judgment – this is non-normative meaning fewer than 50% of
people engage in these behaviours. Fewer than 50% are gay/bisexual. These things exist
in enough people that we become interested in them.
- Sexual orientation – 5-25% of the population depending