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Lecture 5

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McMaster University
Social Sciences
Geraldine Voros

Canadian Children February 1, 2011 Guest Lecturer Diane Esther “Out of incest and Abuse: A Book of Hope”  affects every aspect of life; education, life partners, children etc.  98% of abusers are male  2 in 1 perpetrators of sexual abuse are female  revictimzed by society  1 in 3 women and in 5 men are victims of sexual abuse in their childhood (think that figures are much higher)  3,000,000 women in Canada; 30,000 women and 15,000 men in Hamilton  abuse is intergenerational  great grandfather  father  brother  minister  1 in 70 are reported (child abuse); 1 in 125 are arrested, 1 in 250 are jailed or fined o mentality of individual judge and courts have a lot to do with this  abusers will not quite and accessibility is a part of that  average age of male offender is 14; each offender will have between 200 and 380 offences in life if not caught  38 offenders caught in Hamilton; 24 were thrown out for lack of cooperation and evidence o 14,440 offences between the 38 offenders; for every one caught he has committed a minimum of 5  abuse is the biggest factor of future attitudes of children and 82% of social, health and legal problems have their roots in child abuse and neglect o every area of life is aversely affect by abuse  84% of adult survivors will attempt suicide; 95% will have poor self esteem o never wore anything except beige and grey (be unnoticed); school was nothing but the utmost distressed because she felt that she was stupid and that she had fooled the teachers into being smart; thought daily that her husband would ask her to leave and she would never see her kids again  they punish themselves for being sexually abused because they are „dirty‟ is their thought  found out her son was mentally retarded and she already thought that she was a lousy, rotten mother so how would she be able to help her son? (everyday resisted the urge to kill herself) o believed that the solution was to kill herself and her son so husband would get a better wife who was going to be better for her son (youngest) and if she took her son she would be getting him away from this world that was so bad to her it would be worse for him o somehow knew that this was not the solution; called neighbour to take kids for safety and husband and her found a psychiatrist  poor self esteem  child abuse = thief; robs them of their self worth; power and control in their own life; character assassination o empty vessels (body) is not filled with the good power taking events, but filled with shit  survivors couldn‟t talk about abuse because of no therapy but because of this they couldn‟t tell the therapist what they needed; endless circle  $5.6M for metal health issues o 28,000 or 1/2 of 1% went for women and children issues  add to this the society fact of blaming the victim  police man was documented saying „you think she would learn‟ after a women was raped for the second time in downtown Hamilton  male socialization is at the root sexism and male power which is at the root of abuse  have to educate people on what abuse really means  140,000 elementary students in Ontario were asked to write stories about their home; 60 of the stories brought about suspicion of child abuse in their homes; school board is now questioning the wisdom of that house due to innocent families being questioned  family impact if in the family shapes and sets up the child for life of abuse  didn‟t see father till she was 5 years old (fighter in WWII); mother neglected to tell her that he beat her up; married dad because he was the only one she could keep; first memories was stopping beating her mother to come over and beat her because she was hysterical (first lesson on how to rescue her mother)  abuse doesn‟t happen in a normal happy family; dysfunctional families from day one; invented a recipe for abuse o have tyranny  beats and abuses and purposefully isolates the family  no childhood friend in her home; were not allowed to socialize o vulnerability  on the part of her mom  her father beat her mother and sexual abuse in the family too o accessibility  mother went for work; father lost his job; her job to make dinner  father talked nice to her, and than started to abuse her  in that instant she knew that she was bad and ugly  her family tree of abuse (intergenerational abuse) Father Side Mother Side GF GGF F GF S D S S D Cuz1 Cuz2 D D S S D S S D  if you are abused; you are abused by more than one person o sets you up for a life time of abuse because you have this „victim personality‟  most sexual abuse takes place behind close doors  power structure differs between a nurturing home and an abused home F&M (nurturing family) ---------------------
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