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Lecture 7

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Social Sciences
Geraldine Voros

Canadian Children February 15, 2011 Hurried Children:  What does it ultimately translate into for us?  Theorists say that we are hurrying our children beyond a healthy threshold and both parents and children are finding this a stressor in their lives  Ask questions o What is a hurried child o What is the effect PRESSURES AND COMPETING DEMANDS  We have hurried children because we have hurried adults  Parents dwell in a „pressure cooker‟ of competing demands •Promotions  we work for promotions looking to see how we can possibly gain more money  hurrying to do a good job and move up the ladder of success •Conspicuous Consumer Consumptions  we have things we do not own yet because they have been purchased on credit; Without thinking we continually buy things  measure ourselves against neighbours and what they own  in this „race‟ •Transitions: Upward and Downward  we are set up to fall after we rise; We have safety nets to fall back on (welfare, EI, health care, etc)  upward mobility but also the great fear of the downward fall  has us frightened •Role Changes  go through a number of role changes  student, parents, participant, volunteer, president etc. •Personal and Professional Uncertainties -therefore less control over our lives  Do we still have those jobs tomorrow? Personal role changes; Significant others may not even be there long term  Looming job loss  With the divorce rates that we have we may risk this 1.3 marriages over the life cycle in Canada  Marry young for idealism but as we get older we may want different things We as adults realize that we have less control over our lives; they make us feel overwhelmed we must learn quickly that if we want the best for our children, the last thing we have to control is them; we can try and provide for them with what they need. This is what we do, with all those lessons and sports etc. They begin to mature very rapidly; This is harmful, children have their own ways of thinking and feeling and we shouldn‟t substitute our thoughts and feelings with theirs  happen naturally; nothing more foolish that us substituting our ways We shouldn‟t engage in this hurrying because we can‟t afford to rush them. They ripen slowly in their age appropriate way and we shrink their childhood. We should not force them to grow up fast. This causes them to grow up unhappy as miniature adults. Children have their own way of learning the politics of life age appropriate and very democratic That’s Hockey  It is a girl playing  Showing how the kids choose teams and kids politics  Comrade  They can deal with each other and be healthy happy children Burnout: Five Stages If we hurry kids we can put them in these stages; made for adults but downshifted for children •The Honeymoon  time when children look eagerly towards things, happy with high expectations •Fuel Shortage  Endless demands for learning in non-supporting atmosphere are put upon us causes anxiety with peers  Energy reserves are down they might have bad behaviour, be uncooperative, have nightmares etc. but we must be watchful for when raising children  Calls on energy resources to beat stress. We don‟t have more to give. Results in dissatisfaction with what you are doing •Chronic Symptoms  Overt and covert symptoms that we have gone too far  Health deterioration  Overtly, allergies or accidents become prone  8 year old cohort that is developing ulcers. Covert, we have withdrawal; become aggressive or a bullier  We don‟t want to do anything; Could turn to alcohol or drugs. Something that helps us deal with chronic symptoms that deal with fuel shortages •Crises  Stress valves have been so taxed and overused that everything fails, we have a crisis; issue here; fail to recognize there are no more stress valves to be used and now have a cop out situation  We can become severely ill; Kindergarten child or university student or worker, skip school, don‟t go to class or take mental health day  If we are forced or force ourselves, could cop out (act out so defiantly they could be expelled, cause problems, or reprimanded and fired; We need to attend to ourselves •Hitting the Wall  If we still do not learn, we are too physically and mentally spent to do anything; Drop out, quit their job, drop a course  Check out lane; too mentally spent to go any further Hurrying is complicated in a Childs life; they never forget; hurry them beyond their years there is a price to pay Types of Parents Parents can be a bit obtuse about the way they approach raising their kids •Indulgent  put own needs ahead of welfare of children •Designer  preppy and put kids in best clothes  „gold medal‟ parents •Dysfunction  85% - 90% are dysfunctional •Functi
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