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Self Esteem in Children- wed nov 6.docx

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Social Sciences
Geraldine Voros

Self Esteem in Children Lecture- Wednesday, November 6, 2013 How is it a Child’s Self Esteem Built Nonjudgmental - children are looking for praise- reaction not judgments to what children say - using positive words to label them even if they have done wrong - be careful in what you say about the person and the act- you are a good person, but you did a bad thing - treat the child unconditional- the child is always worthwhile independent of the act - children cannot develop personal worth if there is always an “if” in their performance- you’d be really good IF you did this.. - personal value is subject to miscalculation with every negative comment about what they do - self esteem will always be in tact if we perfect the act and not the person Being Cherished - children survive on acceptance- willing to be there for the task- blossom - have to have feelings of being valued, special, and precious and not in a noisy/ conceit way. - We take children for granted and the cherish feeling will diminish - Value of children who are sick etc. goes up again- we feel guilty if we have ignored cherishing them - Adults treat their children as possessions rather than as little people- we wouldn’t treat our friends this way - Authoritative power parents have over children affects self esteem- how can we expect cooperation when we squash the children by calling them rude names when acting out - We must treat children how we would like to be treated. - Children who are cherished, become acceptant of other mistakes- become reactants for others Owning Feelings - Freedom children should have to feel but not necessary the freedom to act. - Acceptance in regards to difference - Kids might come home and say they don’t like someone because of a certain reason that doesn’t fit right- do we let children own bad feelings about other people i.e. race, disability-let them have the feeling but then diffuse this prejudice right after they express the feeling. - Book: Gordon- memories- did he know what memories meant to people? He translated what people told him about memories into a way to help them find their memories- he was kind to his elderly friends - Very important- we must understand the feelings that they have Empathy - Empathy – sets aside your world to be in your world- particularly in crisis- with you to understand without judgment - Attitudes and feelings- when someone is speaking- how do we validate the facts? And get the whole message- empathetic- listen with the heart first and then their head - Attitude that respects differences and integrity of others- non judgmental- this is empathy Unique Growing - Children grow at their own pace and they will explore at their own pace - Giving them stability and option without dishonor- encourage self esteem and confidence build- they are continuously exploring Dianne Esther - page 14- patriarchy of father when he comes home from work- belittling and humiliating the mom - page 22- thought she might be expecting- didn’t know what sex was- frightened she might have a baby- dialogue with mom- mom believes she’s making it up- emotional abandonment- mom doesn’t believe what she is saying - mother uses honey- endearing- love her- but emotional abandonment- manipulation- having Dianne second guessing herself- no one listens to her- erodes self esteem through emotional abandonment by her mother - mother uses the idea that father will find them if they try to run away - emotional abandonment of husband- ridicule- doesn’t treat her appropriately- manipulates her- her attempt to dismantle the ignorant teachings that she has been saturated with- trying to tell her husband but he will not take it - pg. 59- mad at mother for letting her have self esteem and staying in the dark and husband for telling her to help her problems but then when she tries is not given the support she needs - when she finally asserts herself she has to unlearn all what she knew about herself in the past. - Rescuer role of her mother- trying to liberate herself from the self esteem issues but the mother stops the process - Has to protect herself as no one is trying to protect her. - Page 34- when she finally exploded and everyone was shocked as to what had been happening Dorais Text - character assassination- abuse boys and girls - women speak personal accounts of abuse - men- larger theoretical framework placed upon the experience - definition of sexual abuse- page 6 - boys are more reluctant to disclose than girls- revolves around macho image- try to be little soldiers who do not cry - prejudice- boys should be able to protect yourself and get yourself out of situations- a real man wouldn’t let this happen- weak and vulnerable- not really a man - if you
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