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Lecture

2Q03_

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Department
Social Sciences
Course
SOCSCI 2Q03
Professor
Geraldine Voros
Semester
Winter

Description
Women & Family – March 20 RESILIENCE - What does resilience have to do with me? - ANSWER = EVERYTHING - We need to take ownership of our lives - Women doubt a lot of their abilities too often - They underestimate the degree of strength and flexibility that their lives require - Tend to ignore all that they have done and focus on the unfinished tasks and the unfulfilled goals – don’t realize how much we ask of ourselves and don’t recognize how much we have done, and expect ourselves to do even more - We have the potential to master the art of resilience - Researchers claim that we all share the ability to take charge of our lives and find the meaning and the richness and the purpose we seek - The question is whether or not we take the time to do it - Women’s inner resilience is the power to know what we need and the strength to act on that knowledge - If we permit our resilience to emerge, it can actually inform us and shape us and determine our responses that would let us be the persons we were meant to be and we want to be - How do we discover resilience? What does it really mean? Discovering Resilience - It is the ability to recognize our personal power – to see ourselves and our daily lives in new ways - If anything, women feel powerless/helpless - This is where male-bashing comes in: they are forcing us into submission - Resilience is the discovery of our personal power - It gives us confidence and inner knowing, but we have to connect with the inner resilience What is Resilience? - In the psychological and sociological literature – the ability to recover from the adversity experienced and retain a positive self image and view of the world - Used to describe people who lead normal and fulfilling lives, despite being subjected to a trauma (like surviving war zone, tornado [while losing everything], something quite deep that rips the heart of your very resistance) or having been subjected in early life to high risk of personal problems due to trauma (something like sexual abuse, or having been an abused/abandoned child) - When we see these people survive, we see that they are resilient - Being able to recovery from adversity while still representing a positive self image and positive view of the world - When going through stressful situations, we develop a means of coping when we look into the spiritual, intellectual and emotional aspects of ourselves - We see that when we speak of resilience, we are talking about people dealing with challenges that are very overwhelming - We can demonstrate resilience in small ways in each and every day of our lives (it does not always take a tornado, or war zone, etc.) Women & Family – March 20 - We do it each and every day on a small basis - If we are upset, do we reach for a phone and call a friend who will be supportive? OFTEN TIMES, YES – THIS IS RESILIENCE: WE DO NOT WALLOW IN POWERLESSNESS/HOPELESSNESS,AND WE REACH OUT TO GET BETTER - If we are in a destructive relationship, we find a way to get out of it – that is resilience - If we have to take a deep breath and try again, that is tapping into resilience - It speaks to the intellectual, to the emotional, and to the spiritual in various ways - When we tap into our resilience, we look past the problem and focus on the solutions that lay around it – we look at the larger picture - It’s important to note that situations in which we claim our power is one thing, and the situations in which we yield our power is another - As young adults, we need to know how much of our uniqueness would be compromised if we yielded our power, and how much would be salvaged if we claimed our power and used it - If we want to access our resilience, we have to listen to internal messages and signals, but we haven’t been taught to do that, we’ve been taught to do the opposite o Example: you’re having a dinner party and you’ve baked a wonderful pie for dessert, and you have cut it and there are 8 slices. Sitting around your festive table are 9 people, someone brought an extra guest.And you, being gracious, allowed them to bring that extra guest and forfeit your own slice of pie to give to the extra guest. (Self-sacrificing good girl syndrome, I’m here for everyone else).  PERSONAL SIDENOTE: BITCH BE CRAZY, I’M KEEPING THAT SLICE FOR MYSELF haha o We are on a quest where we can achieve the good girl syndrome and the connectedness that means so much to us o What we need to be looking at is the vital source of strength – who are we as a self, and how should we best relate
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