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November 28 3CC3 Lecture Notes  Almost everything that happens in the family is due to gender relations  There is still a high level of expectations because of gender  A lot of males because house husbands and then eventually went into female based jobs  Women were living the reality of being the breadwinner in the family  The reality is they shifted roles so they could have a family and worked full time in a professional job  Couples have underlying gender expectations that they didn’t even realize  5 year shift in what happened  They asked the females- they said after about 3 or 4 years, there was a lot of resentment because they could not be at home with their baby, while the husband felt that they were not providing for their family  You have expectations about how your life is going to play out, and when the gender roles switched and they did not like it  Feminism has said that were have changed, and we have made great gains towards equality  There are underlying feelings that we accept we didn’t even realize  Feminism says that its easy to change the law, but it is those internalized values that is hard to change  A measure of a truly functional family structure is how it is able to handle that stress or dysfunction, and how does it get through and move to the next level  There will be points in the family life cycle that you cant handle things, and the issue is how do you move on to the next step  The key issue in dysfunction, is usually connected to physical and emotional abuse  All couples accept the idea that their family should be a peaceful, harmonious haven  Most people want their children to succeed  A lot of family experience several factors such as physical, emotional or sexual abuse  The most common damaging form is child abuse because of its life long consequence  The people that children trust the most, those people are hurting them  It tends to be most prevalent in families where parents themselves were abused  Coping mechanism is Trans-generational  An abused individual learns to abuse and accepts abuse as an adult  Lots of people change this pattern though  Victims of sexual abuse is generally girls, but there are more and more accounts of boys  Girls tend to be abused by their male cohabiters  Boys from outside groups  Child neglect is a huge issue- gives both physical and emotional affects to the child  Not paying attention to someone is more harmful then physically abusing them 
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