Does it need to be as long as it is?
I believe the email is a bit long, based on the fact that it is just trying to inform the staff
of the purchasing of hardware and software. This means it should be straightforward and
has to get the main point across. The email may not take long to read, however it could
be condensed into a more effective way to get the information through. Some information
in the email is not needed considering the fact that the employees can contact the person
sending the email if they have any information.
How could this letter be made more effective?
First of all the structure of the email is unorganized, also the information being
presented could be made into point form of a numbered list of things to make it more
clear rather then have one paragraph. Also the subject line could be changed to something
more specific rather then just saying “PC’s”. That way the email would not get lost or get
put into a separate file after being opened.
What overall impression does the letter create?
The first impression I personally get from this letter is rushed and confusing. The
information is being presented to you all at once, it is not structured well at all, and the e
mail itself has no organization,