PSY 621 Lecture Notes - Lecture 9: David Buss

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10 Feb 2016
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Human sexuality - CPSY 621 - Oren Amitay
Lecture 9 - 25.07.13.
EXAM What is love?
Commitment most important
When does love die - oxytocin production, brain reverts back to normal
Brain produces neurotransmitters
What dies quickest - brain undergoes chemical changes at beginning of
love
(cocaine, choc. cigarettes, etc. has similar effect on brain as love)
Decrease in serotonin associated with depression and anxiety (OCD) -
feeling crazy in love - Obsessive Compulsive - brain changes
Oxytocin is bonding hormone - comes with intercourse - oxytocin triggers labour -
men get rush of oxytocin for first three to six months of love-
“Crazy in love” - passion dies after three to six months
Why is change in state of mind
What dies first
What is most important
Passion dies first
Commitment most important point
EXAM Females gatekeepers -
Religious woman - later coitus
EXAM Peplau study - Found that Women adhere to religious rules better
than males
- more religious woman is - longer waited to have sex
- men had sex anytime (didn't wait)
Virgins - males or females - when other partner was not virgin had sex
within two years If women were virgins two thirds of women gave up
virginity when partner was experienced
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Males - number was 100 percent - men gave up virginity when it came to
sex with experienced partner
Endings - Hill et al. (1976) studied Peplau
EXAM Every study shows living together before marriage does not predict
that couple will stay together.
1. Religion, culture and family dictate reason that people stay together
(forced to)
2. Investment theory - people are not rational - anxiety is future
oriented (fear of dying alone). When people wonder what
went wrong they are not being objective. Oxytocin prevents you
from seeing reality for what it is.
Its big things you don't originally break up for (didn't break up when slept
with my father, but now break up because she used my toothbrush)
Brain chemistry changed (cognitive dissonance is rationalisation).
Anthony Wiener (running for mayor of N.Y. - wife still staying with
him - cognitive dissonance) U.S. healthy people want to maintain image
of self that is smart and good. Cognitive dissonance is notion that with
two or more competing feelings it feels uncomfortable - cannot
deny to self - Cognitive dissonance example: Think computer HAL
(Kubrick film) doesn't manage to compute and blows up). Dissonance -
distort things i.e. rationalisation to make us more comfortable
with ourselves.
Anthony Wiener's wife committed to staying with him (love or power or
pressure on her - Hilary Clinton may have pressured her as she
stood by her husband) - Wiener's wife is going through cognitive
dissonance
People in relationship - should have left long time ago (scary thought that
they wasted thirty years with partner) -
EXAM Investment Theory - prove commitment to myself
EXAM When relationship is in trouble why are partners making major joint
purchases? - to bind themselves to each other. (Will do these
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things so they don't have to accept relationship is bad
and on rocks). Prevents anxiety.
Move in together
Marriage
Children
EXAM Men and women are equally irrational - just men show it differently
EXAM Emotion trumps logic
Previously - date, engagement, marriage
Now people move in together for convenience
Dating to living together is small step.
Joint purchases
No studies have ever found that living together first predicts successful marriage
Cognitive dissonance - twist reality
Equally irrational
Myth 4 - opposites attract
EXAM Shy to outgoing person - star by proxy but shy and quiet will not
always be attracted to outgoing person
Brings calm and stability but becomes boring, rude, unpredictable
EXAM Originally opposites attract - “complimentarian” (one person has
traits other has not) other person completes you. Problem is
that same traits that attract you are the same traits that eventually
drive you away. (Opposites do not get along well.)
Timing (when did break-ups occur)
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