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Educ 323- Satir.docx

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EDUC 323
Alex Abdel- Malek

Educ 323- The Survival Stance: • 4 survival stances mentioned in previous chapter originate from state of low self esteem and imbalance where ppl give their power to someone/something else • Adopt survival stances to protect self worth against verbal and nonverbal, perceived and presumed threats • Newborns enter world in Equilibrium and w/ptl for growth • Most ppl define selves before we talk, receive info thru senses and infer meaning/msgs about selves and use this as kind of communication w/other ppl to dev sense of worth • Communication= how ppl convey info, make meaning w/one another and respond (internally and externally) o All communication contains 2 msgs: verbal and affective/nonverbal (these latter affect ppl’s internal states) o When verbal statements conflict w/nonverbal ones we get incongruent communication (get questions of believability) o Parent response shapes child’s communication (positive or negative reaction), learn the family rules for conduct o When rules that endanger our self worth we often dev physiological symptoms f illness o Ppl like icebergs and only show part of self and parts of what we know (much else under the surface) o Ppl confused placating w/niceness, blaming w/assertiveness, super-reasonableness w/objectivity, and irrelevance w/spontaneity o If operate from survival stances we are trying to gain acceptance while hiding from desperate need to connect w/others (we believe we’ll die w/o their acceptance) th • Survival stances: Placating, blaming, being super-reasonable and being irrelevant (5 = congruent) • Placating= disregard own feelings of worth, hand our power to someone else and say yes to everything o Masquerades as pleasing from differs but congruent attempt to please o We placate at expense of self worth, denies self respect and gives msg that we’re unimportant o Nice to others even when we don’t feel nice o Rushing to rectify trouble, insist on taking blame for things that go wrong o Typical stance= kneel, extend one hand upwards in supplication and other hand over heart (“I want to do everything for you”)  Mouth open, speak in high whiny voices, shallow breathing o Most common reponse to want to abuse placate, sometimes contempt, ppl who placate seem infantile and dependent o Can’t placate w/ppl who are congruent so each survival stance requires other person to be communicating incongruently o Placating means telling self that only way to survive is to please others (self sacrifice) o Placating therapists exhausted, high suicide rate (accounts for high burnout rates) o Agreement, begging, dependent martyr (apologizing, whining, giving in) and physiological effects of distressed digestion, stomach probs, diabetes, migraines, constipation • Blaming= opposite to placating o Incongruent way of reflecting society’s rules that we should stick up for ourselves and not accept excuses (must not be “weak”) o To protect selves we harass and blame other ppl/situations o Characteristically explosive, often sever intimate ties w/others o Lots of crying b/c aware of loneliness, symptoms stemming from this= rape, wife/husband battery and other forms of assault o Stance= straight back and point fully outstretched finger at someone, one foot out to scare, hand on hip to balance, raise/furrow brow o Blaming activates fear in others b/c gives them feeling of domination o Operate from source of strength and challenge blamers they will topple o Rapid/shallow breahthing, chronic stiffness o Harsh blaming indicates plea for help • Being super-reasonable: pattern of communicating discounts self or other, function w/respect to context only w/data and logic o Stance= stiff and immobile w/both arms at side or folded symmetrically in front of us, feet perfectly together, faces expressionless o Inhumanly objective, do not allow self or others to focus on feelings o Often mistaken for intelligence, speak and think as impeccably as possible, drive pleasure from being academic chauvinists o Translate “I’m feeling cold today” to “yes it is cold today!” to move away from feelings and toward context o Withdraw from ppl and suffer loneliness, seen as rigid/obsessive/principled o Physiolo
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