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Lecture 9

PSYC 362 Lecture Notes - Lecture 9: Neuroticism


Department
Psychology
Course Code
PSYC 362
Professor
Rebecca Cobb
Lecture
9

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PSYC 362 WK9 Forgiveness
- A change whereby one becomes less motivated to think, feel, and behave
negatively in regard to the offender (Fincham)
- Implies a process that involves change over time, not a specific act
- Intrapersonal (affect and cognition)
- A person’s feelings, thoughts, motivations to be negative, hostility/
resentment toward offender decreases
- Interpersonal (behavioral)
- A decrease in -ve behavior
Forgiveness is not
- Denial
- Forgetting
- It’s just removing awareness of offense from consciousness
- Condoning/ excusing
- One doesn’t need to believe the behavior is justified/ defensible
- BUT, forgiveness means holding the person to account for their actions
- Reconciliation
- It’s actually an additional step separate from forgiveness
- With reconciliation, you’ve already forgiven the partner, and already restore
the relationship to the way things were before the transgression occurred
- Forgiveness facilitates this process but it is not necessary
A stage-phase model (Gordon & Baucom)
- Not the only model
1. Impact Stage
- Injured partner learns of transgression, recognize effect on
relationship
- “He shouldn’t have done that, that really hurt my feelings”
2. Meaning stage
- Injured partner is making sense of what happened
- “Why did this happen? Does she not love me anymore?”
3. Moving on stage
- Injured partner finds a way of adjusting and moving beyond
the incident
- “I broke up with him, but I’m not angry at him anymore. What happened was
really just a sign for us to say goodbye”
Predictors of forgiveness
- Personal predictors
- Neuroticism (emotional instability/ mood lability)
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- Disagreeableness (-vely predict)
- Attachment security (+vely predict)
- Relational predictors
- Commitment (+vely predict)
- Relationship satisfaction (less forgive → less satisfied)
Benefits of forgiveness
- Individual
- Physical health (blood pressure, heart disease, immune fx)
- Psychological health (depression/ anxiety)
- Relationship
- Satisfaction
- Researchers in italy studied forgiveness in couples
- Asked them to fill out measures related to marital satisfaction and
forgiveness at Time 1 and then again 6 months later
- Results: spouses who were less forgiving at Time 1 experienced
sharper declines in marital satisfaction over 6 months, while the
more forgiving spouses maintained their level of satisfaction
- Effective conflict resolution
Forgiveness as a dyadic process
- (Renee and Dennis) video
- She was furious at her husband as he had an affair
- impact/ meaning stages
Does forgiveness behavior predict relationship trajectories?
(Logan & Cobb, 2018)
- 153 mixed sex newlywed couples, avg age 28/29, relationship length about 4
year, 75% Caucasian
- Procedure:
- Couples started the study just before their wedding date and completed
questionnaires online every 3 months for 2 years
- They also visited the lab just after they were married, where they each talked
with their partner about time feelings were hurt recently
- One in which the husband talked about his hurt feelings
- One in which the wife talked about her hurt feelings
- Coded either speaker/ listeners in 2 discussions
- Results:
- “Unforgiveness discussions”
- Couples have few speaking turns (some can talk up to 3mins)
- Coded semantic unit of speech
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