FRHD 2100 Lecture 7: Chapter-7-relationships-intimacy-and-communication
3 Feb 2019
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Week 5: Chapter 7 – Relationships, Intimacy and Communication (192-209)
The ABC(DE)s of Romantic Relationships
• Model which conceptualizes romantic relationships in terms of 5 stages
• Attraction: occurs when two people become aware of and find one another appealing
• Building: building a relationship following initial attraction
o Factors that motivate us to build a relationship: similarity in level of physical attraction,
similarity in attitudes/interests, and a generally positive evaluation of the partner
• Continuation: once a basic level of attachment/intimacy has been established, relatively stable
o Relationship will mature and evolve as time passes and circumstances change
o A relationship in the continuation stage that doesn’t balance the stability of established
patterns of intimacy and communication with the need for ongoing adaptation and
development may enter a stage of deterioration
• Deterioration: relationship will start to deteriorate when it becomes less rewarding
o Couple can respond to deterioration:
▪ Actively: doing something that may enhance the relationship
▪ Passively: waiting for something to happen, doing little or nothing
• Ending (or termination): when partners find little satisfaction in the affiliation
• Social-Exchange Theory: this development reflects the unfolding of social exchanges, which
involve the rewards and costs of maintaining a relationship, compared with the rewards/costs of
dissolving it
• Early stages of building a relationship, we look for common group in the form of overlapping
attitudes and interests – we often use small talk to determine whether to develop the relationship
o One kind of small talk is the greeting, or opening line (i.e. Hello, Good Morning, etc.)
o Early exchanges are like to include name, occupation, marital status, and hometown
o Each person seeks a sociological profile of the other, to discover common ground that
may provide a basis for pursuing the conversation
• Self-disclosure is central to building and intimate relationship
o If you refuse to go beyond name, rank, and serial number, you may look uninterested
o If, on the other hand, you blurt out the fact that you have a terrible rash on your thigh, it’s
likely that you’ve disclosed too much too soon
o Research shows we should refrain from disclosing certain types of information
o Rapid self-disclosure more common when people meet online – may allow for relative
anonymity and enable people to control what they want to reveal
• Sex Differences in Self-Disclosure
o Masculine-types individuals (male/female), less willing to disclose their feelings
o Feminine-typed (i.e. expressive, nurturing) more likely to be empathetic and listen to
other people’s troubles than masculine-typed individuals regardless of anatomic sex
• Sexual Self-Disclosure
o Individuals who disclosure more about their sexual likes/dislikes report higher sexual
satisfaction
o For women, relationship satisfaction is a key factor in sexual satisfaction
o Likely that a person’s cultural background affects his/hers patterns of sexual-disclosure
• Sexual Initiation
o When it came to initiating sex with partners, young adult Canadians in study more likely
to rely on indirect verbal and non- verbal initiation strategies than on direct strategies
