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Lecture 3

FRHD 3040 Lecture Notes - Lecture 3: Psychological Safety, Active Listening, Observational Learning

Family Relations and Human Development
Course Code
FRHD 3040
David Green

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Gordon on punishment
Fails to lead permanent change in behaviour
Side effects: anger, acting out, harm to the parent-child relationship
o Alternatives to punishment: participation rules: problem ownership (Who owns a
problem), active listening, I messages (I instead of you), conflict resolution (mirroring
parents, observational learning)
Prevention strategies
Psychological safety
o Build strong sense of self-worth in children
o If you know what the goals are, you are strategic about it
o Things you want to accomplish in the children
o 3 levels of self-esteem
How parents treat their children
o House of self
Body language
Treatment by important others (parents)
Facilitating psychological safety
Construct house of self through interactions
Importance of communication orientation
Dont try to cookie cut children
o See uniqueness
o Affirms worth
o Express love and messages that children are competent
Children are able to trust parents when
o Needs are met
o Promises are kept
Make promises and keep them
o Parents apologize
Help children meet goals and boost self-esteem
Helps children believe in themselves and their abilities
Motivates them to try new things
Help them not to be perfect
Democratic model of parenting
Avid judgements
Focus on process not outcome
Separate worth from accomplishment
Separate worth from mistakes
Avoid attitudes and behaviours that discourage
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