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The Dating Game.docx

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Richard Ennis

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The Dating Game – Social Psychology Social Exchange: Love in the Want Ads  There has been a notion that relationship can be described as a social exchange-taking place, measured on the balance of payment. Equal value to what you are giving in the relationship  Sexual Exchange – ‘Sex for Success’ exchange. Man brings success to the relationship (economical input, security, breadwinner), in exchange to the woman (brings sexual relationship) o 1960’s: Was tested for validity, turning towards the Want Ads, in the local newspaper o “Single, white male, looking for a woman between 20-30, who like camping”  Men seek physical attraction within women, looking for beauty  They did offer some sense of security, and well to do. E.g. a professional man – Ambitious  Men tended to seek a women that was younger than them  Women offered beauty and health, looking for commitment, lasting relationships  Scientists today, still look for that pattern, studying dating websites. It has gone weaker, but out of all the patterns, it is the most dominant that we see today. But why? WHY?  Came from evolutionary theory- having the exchange within our species. To explore this kind of notion. Dating Rituals: Evolution  Inclusive Fitness – Biological concept: Motive to pass on our genetic messages to become ancestors, and that each of us is motivated by that biological imperative to: 1. Pro-create 2. Offspring reach sexual maturity – Can’t become grandparent, biological imperative has not been full-filled. Each of us has a gene pool, that strives to become the future source of our future species  Optimal Strategies: What would be the best sexual strategy to pursue? o Men- Sperm (Their genetic package)  Unlimited – Within two minutes of ejaculation, they will produce one million sperms  There is no deduction for success  Male’s Optimal Strategy for Achieving Optimal Capacity  Opportunistic Strategy: Have sex with as many women as possible and as often as possible- ‘Sex Machine’  If he has it often enough, he will impregnate them and become a father o Women- Ovum (She is driven to pro-create and pass on her genetic message);  She has one period a month, and 480 changes to pro-create- but every time she is successful, we have to deduct nine  Women’s Optimal Strategy  Must be selective- having a finite set of genetic packets, and only few opportunities to bring children into this world. Should not let these eggs be wasted on any sperm and wants the very best of genetics. Not have it diluted by poor genetic material.  The Family Alternative –Dating was born (Committing to a monogamous relationship)  The Competition: Dating o Does your 50% mix with my 50%? Will you provide protection to me when I am vulnerable, as well as the child? A male that can provide security and defence. Get the best caves, keep it and protect it against other males; and beat off competitors; bring resources to the family  Women wanted to see indications of these attributes – Muscular, broad shoulders, narrow hips – So they would be more muscular to this type of a man, indicating ‘success’  Want to see if the male can commit – Are they capable of romantic bonding? Do they have the sensitive side? For female? For children?  Relationship choosing rests on the choices of women  Women find the upside-down triangle in a male’s body is appealing  Men find the ‘hour-glass’ shape as sexually appealing; Ample breasts, huge hips for successful child- bearing, waist – suggesting youth o M
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