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Love, Closeness, and Well-Being - March 27 2013.docx

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University of Waterloo
Hilary B Bergsieker

PSYCH253- March 27 2013 Love, Closeness and Well- Being Intimate Marketplace: Social Exchange - Social exchange Theory o Outcomes  Rewards  Anything about relationship that results undesirable experiences for the individual  Costs  Anything about relationship that results in undesirable experiences for individual  Outcome = Rewards – Costs  Ideal reward: cost ratio is at least 5:1  We seek relationships that provide best outcome o Comparison Levels  General  What you think you deserve in your relationship  Outcomes – CL = Satisfaction/ Dissatisfaction  When CL is over Outcome =   Alternatives  How well you THINK you could do elsewhere  Outcome – CL = Dependence/ Independence  When CLalt is over Outcome =  Investment Model - Investments o How much person puts into relationship that can’t be recovered if relationship ends o Direct  Time, effort, caring o Indirect  Shared memories, mutual friends, shared possessions Risk Regulation Model - Trust - Situation - Threatened (?) - Goal Accordance o Self Protect Goal (Distrust Partner)  Escalate partner dependence (make partner depend on you more)  Withhold commitment (try not to be more vulnerable) o Connect Goal (Trust)  Justify Commitment (try to reason why you trust them and is committed to them)  Escalate Dependence (becoming more dependent on partner) Relationship Issues: (What is) Sex - what constitutes as having sex? o Would you say you had sex with someone if the most intimate behavior you engaged in was ___?  Deep Kissing (2%)  Oral Contact with breasts (3%)  Touching genitals (14%)  Oral contact with genitals (40%)  Anal intercourse (81%)  Vaginal intercourse (99%) - What is the lowest level of intelligence you would be willing to accept in a: o Partner to marry o Partner to date steadily o Date o One nights and and you would never see this person again o Results:  Minimal intelligence percentile:  For marriage people tended to want someone who was as smart as 2/3 of population  Steady is still high 60 female, 61 male  For dating: 49 female, 51 male  Just Sex: 55 for female, 45 for
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