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Lecture 15

PSY3102 Lecture 15: Maintaining Relationships

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Yaroslav Konar

Lecture Fifteen: Maintaining and Continuing Relationships 1/3 of men are as “warm” as women, and others can learn to be warmer/more expressive. Most partners explain their partner’s behaviours favourably, even when they misbehave (attributing conflict to external, unstable, and specific environments) Most people seek out a partners and are comfortable being an independent in an intimate relationship. Authentic Forgiveness can help a relationship over a long period of time, and must be initiated by the transgressor — potential for forgiveness but you shouldn’t automatically expect forgiveness from your partner. Ways to maintain a relationship: Cognitive Perspective i. Thinking of ourselves as a union rather than a island. ii. Positive Illusions and Idealizations — viewing the misdeeds by the partner as temporary and unintentional. iii. Perceived superiority of your relationship over most. iv. Inattention to alternatives (Miller 1997 found that relationships where on partner would linger longer on photos of attractive people were more likely to dissolve) v. Derogation of testing alternatives —judging alternatives less favourably - Simpson et al (1990) asked committed undergraduates to judge the attractiveness of photos of the opposite sex. Some models were from another city, some were fellow students on campus. He found that students
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