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arranged marriages.docx

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University of Toronto Scarborough

Indo-Canadian Arranged Marriage  many Indo-Canadians value arranged marriages because they see the success of their parent’s arranged marriage  in North America today, Indian families use a modified version of the traditional arranged marriage  no long called arranging… is now suggesting  when their child is ready to be married, they spread the word (through relatives and friends, even through ads on newspapers and websites)  the search is usually limited to Indians of the same religion, caste, and mother tongue  suggestions with photographs and resumes soon arrive—parents and youth select the most promising candidates for further examination  detailed background checks are done to rule out financial or personal scandals, mental illness/suicide, drug abuse  if a prospect looks promising, a formal introduction takes place between the boy and girl, usually with both sets of parents present  after a group conversation and tea drinking, the two young people are allowed to go somewhere else together alone  if the two feel no romantic spark during this meeting, negotiations will terminate  not only do the two individuals have to be attracted to each other, a family-to-family bond must exist as well  once the two young people agree to consider the match, they usually have a long period of time to get to know each other  they can go out with each other, but they don’t date  their meetings would be filled with questions (like an interview)—where they would live, previous relationships, consent to HIV test Types of Marriage  in Canada the only legal type of marriage is monogamous—between two partners  there are two types of marriage:  monogamy—a relationship where an individual has one partner  in North America, we have a high divorce and remarriage rate, and we are frequently described as being serial monogamists (having one partner at a time, but being able to change partners through our life time)  polygamy—a form of marriage that involves multiple partners  there are two types of polygamy:  polygyny—a form of marriage between one husband and multiple wives  permitted in about 80% of world’s cultures  polyandry—a form of marriage with one wife and multiple husbands  practiced is less than 1% of world’s cultures  many monogamists believe polygamous marriages are about having multiple sexual partners, but there are many other social and economic reasons for these marriages Polygyny  polygyny is permitted in most of the world’s cultures, but most men in polygynous societies have only one wife  ex: in Islam, a man may have up to 4 wives, but few Muslims do so, because Mohammed said that men must treat all their wives equally and justly (this is emotionally and financially difficult to do)  in many cultures, extra wives are both a symbol of wealth and a means of acquiring wealth  in some cultures there’s a bridewealth system (where the groom/groom’s family pays a father in order to marry his daughter)  by having many wives, you’re rich because you can pay for them  in many herding and farming societies, wives and children provide the labour to work the fields, thus increasing the man’s wealth  polygynous marriages create many children and grandchildren to take care of the man as he ages  in some societies where men engage frequently in warfare, there is a surplus of women and polygyny is one way to ensure that all women are married and cared for by husbands  there are many advantages of being in a polygynous relationship for women:  ensures women are married and therefore can bear children  many wives enjoy t
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