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Perfectionism  an aspect of personality that can be both positive (helps a person achieve excellence) or negative  perfectionists tend to set unrealistically high expectations of themselves and when they fail, they’re overly critical  believe that if something can’t be done right, better not to do it at all  the cycle of perfection  1: “I must be perfect in everything I do.”  unrealistic expectation of perfectionism  2: “I can accomplish anything”  taking on too much  3: “How did I get into this mess? It’s too much!”  failure to reach goals leads to procrastination  4: “This could have been better.”  self-blame, guilt, shame, lowered self-esteem  5: “I am what I do.”  self-definition based on performance  6: “I know if I try harder, I’ll do better”  demand for higher standards and sets themselves up for step 1 again (the next step is step 1—cycle starts over)  perfectionism typically develops at an early stage  often it’s related to significant events or responses from parents (the child’s parents want straight A’s)  perfectionism can also be because they’re first in the birth order  children who are perfectionists are prone to depression, anxiety disorders, eating disorders, low self esteem  perfectionism is an issue in young athletes  perfectionist athletes are more prone to anger fits and demand too much of themselves (typically because of coaches and parents’ expectations)  research shows it’s helpful to guide the athlete into setting reasonable goals, and giving praise whenever the child is working hard (not just when they reach their goal)  perfectionism can be changed  remembering everyone fails, remove guilt from failure, use hardships as learning opportunities. take smal
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