PSYC14H3 Lecture Notes - Lecture 9: Role Reversal, Sleep Paralysis, Reduced Affect Display

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6 Aug 2016
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Week 11 – Lecture #9: Monday July 18, 2016
Relationships, Mental Health and Well-Being
Why do we affiliate?
Core Social Motives
Belonging
- the most basic social motive, need relationship b/c enables to survive & thrive in
communities/group settings
- psychological level it allows people to be to be accepted and prevent them from
rejection
- we want to be accepted by others (friends, significant others, & fam)
Understanding
- we want to understand others’ motivation and we in return want to be understood
- socially shared info framework, allows co-operation
- allows to function in groups
- there are diff in cultures
- in independent cultures, people are more focused on understanding others needs and
wants, what they feel inside, and where they come from
- in interdependent cultures, they are more focused in the nature of relationships (my
self & fam, myself & friend, myself & uni) & what role do I play in that relat?
Efficacy
- sense of control over outcomes
- want to be able to be in control of our destiny
- independent cultures are more focused on the control of their individualistic aspects
- they feel a sense of agency when they are able to have influence over situations
(able to do themselves)
- interdependent cultures focus on the control over the harmony of relationships
- they feel a sense of agency when they are able to adapt and adjust in groups to
secure harmony in situation
- promotes health and group life
Enhancement
- we like to think we are really good in a specific area
- humans are pro at that
- like to have a positive view of ourselves
- special status of ourselves: self-esteem, self-improvement, self-empathy
- there are diff emphasis in diff cultures: can focus on enhancing self (hobbies), or
focus on enhancing relationship
- Western enhance self relevance to others (self-awareness)
- mirror idea: Western have more positive self-awareness than Japanese because
Westerners have a subjective view of self
- East Asians are okay with opposites, they also accept sympathy for themselves –
unique to interdependent, balances with self-criticism
Trust
- very important
- in NA societies, we are good in trusting others because we have positive views of
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others
- in NA, when it comes to research based on games, they are more fair and give
50% of their $ to others because they think others will cooperate expecting better
pay off in the end
- they view relationships as choice and control
- it only goes until trust is violated, once its violated, trust doesn’t exist anymore
- so for people in eastern cultures, the trust is more narrow b/c
- they have a good understanding of their relationship with others and they may
think it’s not good to trust others because they are not part of their ingroup
- they expect diff behaviours in diff situation
- they don’t believe all feedback is true
When do we affiliate?
Social Support
Provision of warmth, supportiveness or instrumental care.
Social Exchange
Reciprocal exchange of goods and services.
- we need others to thrive and survive, we need to have a tit for tat
- implicit level, that’s how we operate
Social Obligation
Expectations of responsibility to ingroup members (i.e., family, friends, social network
members)
- we know we have specific duties – explicit way
Who do we affiliate with?
We like people who are
Close to us in proximity
- people were more likely to become friends with people who lived closer to them
- that’s why people tend to connect with their next door neighbours than with
people that live in the next few blocks
Familiar to us
Similar to us
Physically attractive
Have some admired skill/quality
Like us
- that’s why mimicry happens, sometimes u don’t notice
- need to be seen so u get the acceptance because you’re like them
Few Questions About Love & Marriage
1. If a man (woman) had all the other qualities you desired, would you marry this person
if you were not in love with him (her)?
- Western will most likely say no b/c people tend to idealize love and love is a
choice and the spark must be there to get married
- prof did a study about dating and made participants have deal breakers
- they gave fake profiles to them with deal breakers and then showed a picture of
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an attractive person
- when asked hypothetically, people said they wont date the person, when people
are notified that they actually have the chance to go out with that person they
would want to go out with that person
- so there are those situations when people don’t meet some of the expectations
but if the spark is there, everything else is ignored and people still go with the
love
2. If love has completely disappeared from a marriage, I think it is probably best for the
couple to make a clean break and start new lives.
- in western, people would agree b/c they think love is a very important part of
life, and if it’s not there then there is no point living in it
3. In my opinion, the disappearance of love is not a sufficient reason for ending a
marriage and should not be viewed as such.
- Western would disagree
- Western: Love is a choice (if people don’t like it, they will move on to the next)
- Eastern: Love is a privilege (people would do anything to maintain that)
Arranged Marriages
An arranged marriage is a novel concept to Westerners.
- b/c it violates the aspects that individuals have.
Individualistic Assumptions:
A person will only love someone that they’ve chosen
Love is a choice, based on a unique connection
A marriage with no love is bound to be miserable
In collectivistic cultures, marriage is not regarded as a union of 2 individuals, rather it is a
union of 2 families.
Collectivistic Assumptions:
Love is assumed to grow out of marriage.
Love is sanctioned only between certain partners.
Sanctioned love can act as an important social glue
- union btw two people goes beyond two people, it will benefit everyone
else that’s part of the two families
It is seen as important for cementing family liaisons, building new economic ties, and
maintaining the influence of extended network
- Gupta & Singh (1982)
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