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PSYC18H3 Lecture Notes - Leonard Berkowitz, Jon D. Levenson, Gender Role

Course Code
G Cupchik

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PSYC18 Chapter 9 – Emotions in Social Relationships
Social goals and social emotions
-Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, notion that humans are a mixture of good and evil
-Greek philosopher Empedocles sees it as love and strife, Freud sees it as sexality and
death, more recently, theorists see it as cooperation, affiliation and social behaviour.
-Historical Figure: Konrad Lorenz: argued that aggression is an innate drive like humnger
-Three kinds of social motivation: attachment, affiliation and assertion
oAttachment: function is primarily that of protection and care for the immature
oAffiliation: described in research literature as warmth (coloq. Affection), draws
individuals together even when they are not genetically related (core of kindness,
friendship and long term sexual bonding we call love)
oAssertion: Power, we human beings create hierarchies in many of the things we do,
assertion is the motivation to rise in the social hierarchy and to resist challenges
from those who would diminish us. Motivation of competition and conflict.
oTypical positive emotions associated with attachment figure are trust, comfort and
reassurance while loss of such a figure produces anxiety and distress
oTypical positive emotiosns associated with affiliation are affection, warmth and
liking whereas loss of someone will produce sadness and grieving
oTypical emotion of assertion is anger, to win or maintain status, loss of status is
accompanied by shame or embarassment and other emotions of deference
-Attachment and its separation from affiliation
oAttachment function is essentially protective. System keeps mother close by or
ready to be summoned by crying, using mother as secure base
oAinsworth observed mothers interacting with their babies. Hypothesized that
infants developed their sense of trust from parents being sensitive and responsive.
oGrossmann (1985) and Atkinson (2005) have found that there is a dissociation
between maternal sensitivity and attachment security
oGoldberg et al. (1999) conclude that there is a system of affiliation, warmth and
affection including sensitivity. Affiliation and warmth are fundamentally important
but they involve different processes than of protection
oHuman caregivers in some societies can be strong in attachment although not
particularly warm to their infants
oThe system of affiliation and warmth is built on positive reward and is closely
associated with the system of touch
- Emotions as social
o1) Just as with individual goals, emotions are evaluations or appraisals of events
that affect different kinds of social goals (anxious if attachment figure is
inexplicably absent, happy to see a friend, angry when status is threatened
o2) Parkinson and Parkinson (2004): Emotions are not solely determined by
appraisals of events. Emotions are reappraised so that emotions become
amalgams of what started them and the social negotiations they have occasioned
o3) Emotions create social relationships (smile is invitation to cooperative
relationship; angry expression is a declaration of conflict). Such emotions are not
just states of readiness but commitments to the relationship (for the time being)
oThe three kinds of social motivation (attachment, affiliation and assertion) is that
they do not just coexist, in human society, they need to be actively combined
PSYC18 Chapter 9 – Emotions in Social Relationships
Emotions within intimate relationships
- Early attachment as a template for later love
oBowlby (1971) states that affectional love is when two people cooperate to
accomplish together what they could not do alone
oBowlby suggests that attachment relationship of infancy creates a template for
later intimate relationships (first mentions were from Darwin and Freud)
- Maternal caregiving and affiliative warmth
oPrincipal researcher in the area of maternal caregiving is Alison Fleming (2002)
Mother rats show three distinctive kinds of maternal behavior toward infants
A) when infant rats suckle, mothers assume crouching posture over
them(Enabling infants to suck is a characteristic of all mammals)
B) If infants get out of the nest, they make ultrasonic squeaks and
retrieve them (Retrieving is also a typical species-characteristic
C) Mothers lick their infants, particularly on and around the ano-
genital region (being stimulated in a tactile way is essential for health
and proper development, switching on various neural and hormonal
Fleming’s group has shown that mothers who received more affection when
they were infants spend more time cuddling and kissing their babies
Mother and father will sustain their child through life-upheavals that child
rearing demands, developing what Winnicott (1958) called “primary
maternal preoccupation)
Klaus and Kennell (1976) describe a process of the mother becoming bonded
to her baby by bodily contact during the first days after delivery
Caregiving is an amalgam of elements, with a wide range of processes
- Affiliation and sexual relating
oSexual love in humans is elaborate
oIn evolutionary terms, it is likely that the elaboration started with the joining of the
affiliative-warmth system to the reproductive one, known as the male provisioning
hypothesis (Lovejoy, 1981)
oLovejoy argues that the critical evolutionary moves occur when humans start
walking upright, when infants could no longer cling to their mothers, so that
mothers must devote more resources to tending them.
oThere came also the pair bonding, which is rare elsewhere in the primate world.
Males have a good chance of knowing that the child to whose upbringing he
contributes bears his genes. In return for her exclusive sexual attention, the female
acquires from the male additional resources to contribute to child rearing. This has
led women to choose males on the basis of their predicted investment in parenting
rather than from indcators of genetic prowess.
- Principles of sexual love
oHuman experiences of loving and of being loed are thought by many to be what
give life its principal meaning and are much celebrated in fictional literature
oFor most people in the Western society (Freedman 1978) found that many
Americans responded that love in marriage would be most closely related to
PSYC18 Chapter 9 – Emotions in Social Relationships
oGoodall (1986) found that infant chimpanzee who lost its mother at the age of 6,
though able to forage for itself, would pine and die
oTaboos against incest and social processes of exogamy that promote mating
between unrelated adults are human universals
oE.g. Children raised in kibbutzim tend not to enter into sexual relationships with
those whom they grew up with in the same kibbutz
oBateson (1983): we tend to choose as a mate someone similar to people we know
but not too similar!
oHow do we make transition from urgent infatuation (passionate love coined by
Hatfield and Rapson (2002)) to the state of permanent loving and caring for the
other (Djikic & Oatley, 2004)?
oJung (1925) writes about psychological repercussions of withdrawing the fantasies
on which being in love is based
- Anger and contempt in marriage
oIssues: unsatisfying sex, husband’s inability to get better-paying work, child’s
academic difficulties
oGottman and Levenson (1983) followed marriages of 79 couples from Bloomington
Indiana. Identified the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”
1) Criticism: continually find fault with their partners
2) Defensiveness
3) Stonewalling: Resisting dealing with problems
4) Contempt
Contempt is the most toxic to relationships. Anger, while distressing, may
bring about beneficial change. To be angry with someoen involves a
commitment to seeing an argument through to some end. As Aube and
Senteni (1996) have pointed out, all social emotions have an element of
commitment. Anger is a bid to increase one’s status or maintain it. Shame is
the social emotion of being diminished.
Criticism is attempt ot reduce the other in one’s own eyes and in that
person’s eyes too.
Defensiveness and stonewalling are used to block commitment to carry
matter through
Contempt is denial of the other person’s right to take part in relationship at
- Friendship and Gratitude
oPeople often feel love for non-kin, lifelong friends (or for the moment)
oFrom evolutionary perspective: connundrum because they require cooperation with
non-kin. Seems prroblematic for individual to devote resources to another
oTrivers (1971) proposes that cooperative alliances like friendships exists to the
textent that there is reciprocal giving and affection.
oRoss Buck (1999, 2002) states: Although genes are inherently selfish, they survive
and continue from generation to generation only in the context of other genes
oGene lines that survive because of communication with other gene lines provide a
basis for prosocial emotions of altruism and empathy