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Summary of Hobbes, Hume.docx

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University of Toronto St. George
Peter King

Hobbes Leviathan Books I and II A Summary Everything is made of particles and theyre constantly bumping into each other Its how shit moves but thats not all its how you think and how you speak and how you imagine we all interact based on the motion of these particles and it has one very important consequenceDudes are fucking dicksSeriously theres no way around it Have you ever seen a guy acting like an asshole and thought What a fucking asshole Well Spoiler Alert Youre an asshole too Everyone is an assholetheres no avoiding it Its a motherfucking law of nature like gravity or John Stamos hair And if were allowed to do whatever the fuck we want shit gets real real real fast One greedy motherfucker steals somethingsome bro preempts him with his own attack some other guy tries to show everyone else how big his dick is and suddenly everyone is trying to kill everyone elseAnd theres only one way to fix it Its not pretty but its fucking supereffectiveFirst we all make a contract to chill the fuck out togetherBut what if some asshole is like No I will not chill the fuck out How do we handle thatIm glad you asked We all pick one bro and give him absolute power I dont mean that if he asks nicelywe think about listening his job isnt to make sure everyone plays fair or to tell you that youre special no matter what anyone says Fuck that noise Absolute Fucking Power Maybe it would help if I told you that Hobbes named him after the sevenheaded souleating serpentdemon that guards the gates of Hell Simon Says asshole He does what the fuck he wants and hes kind of a big dealBut why does one bro need all that power His job is to make sure everyonestays chilled out and its not an easy job since were all such assholes Remember that part in Harry Potter 6 when Dumbledore tells Harry No matter what I say dont stop feeding me this battery acid or whatever it was We all say to the ruler No matter what we say in the future dont let us try to kill each other So that when the inner assholes come out he knows to put his foot down execute a few dudes and keep the fucking peace And believe methats going to happen Youre going to try to kill someone Its inevitable
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