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Lecture 8

PSY336H1 Lecture Notes - Lecture 8: Love Connection, Attachment Theory, Motivation

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Dan Dolderman

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June 12 lecture 8
He who feels punctured must once have been a bubble Lao Tza (?)
Belief vs faith
Willingness to believe in something
Albert Bandura’s self-efficacy
Sheer empathy
-sacrifice your own wellbeing for the sake of them
-connection (an energy source)
What grounds our behavior?
-love for another person
If I was relying upon myself, then I would burn out (my energy would be depleted)
-A deeper ground than that
-it’s not like I have a goal or theory,
-something that grounds his behavior -> connections (a new source of energy that never runs
How to nurture character?
-How to build pro-social motivation?
-Pro-social motivation = spark + gift
>compassion and courage
>love and power
>spark moments: something makes them want to care, this feeling starts to grow in their hearts.
One of the things that they learn is that’s not enough
>It is not enough just to touch people’s heart, but you have to expose their power/ gifts
>the sense of “I don’t really know what I can do”
>high self-esteem, optimism
>moral priciples
>affiliations (internalized values we have due to social connections)
>empathy (feelings, emotions)
-It is really easy to under develop our moral emotions
empathy altruism
attachment theory
-interpersonal relationships
Scare the monkeys and see what they do experiment (Harlow?)
-metal mechanical creature

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-diabolical contractions
-monkey gets scared and runs to clock mother
-once the monkey is near the mother, he gains courage
-it’s not just he runs away from fear but runs towards security, his mother
Attachment theory
-while growing up, their caregiver is their source of security
-so the attachment develops and strengthens when we are under some sort of stress
Secure attachment
-combination of self and other meet security needs
Innate psychological system (or psychobiological system?)
-Attachment behavior system
-Interaction through attachment systems
-based on expectations about times of need
-core sense of attachment and security
-in contrast to this is the caregiving system
>caregiving: refers to a broad array of behavior that compliment another person’s attachment
-caregiving and attachment systems are complimentary to each other
Human beings
-we are individual as well as collective
-we are primarily individuals
-your needs come first then the others
-if the self’s individual needs are unmet, it is going to be difficult to meet the needs of other
Mikulincer & Batsson
-it is difficult to be a good caregiver if their own attachment systems are not met with adequate
-under conditions o threat, adults usually turn to others for support
>only when their needs have been met do they start to help/support others
How do you promote security
-closeness helps to develop internal motivation
-warm responsive relationships
Dali lama
-Presence of mind
-in Tibet, kids are raised not to be violent
-if you teach gentleness to kids, as they grow up, this becomes an internalized value
>it gets built up through modeling
Internalized character
Gift, courage, power… where does this come from?
-success experiences
>mastery orientation
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