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Lecture 10

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Western University
Health Sciences
Health Sciences 1001A/B
Shauna Burke

Chapter 10 Healthy Relationships and Communication Developing Close Relationships - Willingness to give of oneself and to accept what others want to give them o Share ideas, feelings, time, need - Self-concept and self-esteem o Positive self-concept and healthy level of self-esteem help us love and respect others o Using actual words and actions of what they did well raises self- esteem - Gender role - Attachment - Friendship characteristics o Companionship o Respect o Acceptance o Help o Trust o Loyalty o Mutuality o Reciprocity Love, Sex, and Intimacy - Love – one of most basic and profound human emotions - Pleasure and pain of love o Love can be state of excitement, subject to wildly fluctuating feelings of joy and despair - Transformation of love o Human relationships change over time o As long as one person is in love, relationship has fighting chance Challenges in Relationships - Is there hidden treasure in our relationships? - Honesty and openness - Unequal or premature commitment - Unrealistic expectations - Competitiveness - Balancing time spent together and apart - Jealousy - Supportiveness Unhealthy Relationships - Do you and partner have more negative memories than happy? - Are there old hurts that aren’t forgiven? - Feel disrespected or unloved? - Find it hard to feel positive feelings of affection for partner? - Feel as if relationship has been waste of time? Ending a Relationship - Give relationship a fair chance - Be fair and honest - Be tactful and compassionate - If rejected person, give time to resolve anger and pain - Recognize value in experience Communication - Nonverbal communication o Ability to interpret nonverbal messages o 70% of communication - Communication skills o Self-disclosure o Listening o Feedback - Gender and communication o Men – competitive way to establish dominance  Be aware of uncomfortable feelings  Don’t run away  Don’t tell her to calm down  Stay connected  Empathize  Don’t think of comments as personal attacks  Calm yourself  Take a break o Women- affiliative way to establish friendship  Try to be calm when approaching conflict  Don’t provoke defensiveness  Don’t be critical of responses or attempt to communicate  Be aware of withdrawing  Help each other relax - Conflict and conflict resolution o Clarify issue o Find out what each person wants o Compromise o Decide how to negotiate o Solidify agreement o Review and renegotiate Pairing and Singlehood - When choosing a partner, similarities increase chances of relationship’s success - Today, traditional dating replaced by more casual form of getting together in groups - Decision to live together is one of most rapid and dramatic social changes that has ever occurred in our society - - Same-sex partnerships - LGB o Sexual orientation o Homosexual relationships similar to heterosexual relationships o More egalitarian relationships - Singlehood o For first time, being single more common than being married  Could be due to change of view of singlehood, education and careers, common law marriage, attitudes toward marriage - Interfaith and Intrafaith Marriages - Potential approaches to address religious diversity o Withdrawal o Conversion o Compromise o Multifaith o Ecumenical o Diversity o Do nothing Marriage - Benefits of marriage - Issues in marriage o Realistic expectations o Feel good about personality of their mate o Communication o Effective way to resolve conflicts o Religious and ethical values o Egalitarian role o Good balance of individual and joint interests - Role of commitment o Commitment based on conscious choice rather than emotion - Separation and divorce o 35% chance of divorce o Divorce = one of life’s greatest stress-producing events o Children especially vulnerable - Percentage of divorces expected to end before 25 year of marriage o Family Life
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