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Lecture 20

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Western University
Sociology 3321F/G

The components of love: Robert Sternberg: says the components are passion (erotic attraction), intimacy (confiding in others and shared feelings), and commitment (intention to remain in the relationship) Reasons for divorce: 1. Individualism: the “me generation: -we spend less time living together today than in the past -larger proportions of people live alone -not just elderly people but more younger people as well -less inclined to get married b/c it may interfere w/ personal priorities -these ideas are becoming more prominent 2. “Bloom is off the rose” -rose only last a short period and then the bloom is gone Components of love: 1. Compassion (takes a beating when it comes to marriage) 2. Commitment 3. Intimacy -romantic love can wane after a period of time -when in love, the other person is absolutely wonderful, perfect love sick, smitten, don’t see their faults -but after some time, you wake up and see that person’s faults -you were immune to them before -may be that the initial period of enchantment is just nature’s way of making sure you procreate -when the children are produced, the passion is no longer there -in a culture whose marriage is b/c of love, that same culture will get divorced b/c passion is short-lived -get psychological intimacycompensates for the decrease in sexual passion -after initial rush, you have to reorient marriage around another aspect like commitment or intimacy -another reason for increase in divorce: -increased participation in the labour force -therefore there is less dependence on men and therefore it is easier for women to walk away -women become independent -women are more likely to initiate divorce proceedings then in the past Marriage and modern stress: -housework, childcare, senior care -more partners are more likely to work outside of the home -the energy that was directed inwards towards the family is now directed outwards toward careers -divorce is more likely when the children are young -duel career couples are more likely to share housework but they are also more likely to get divorced -another reason: social acceptability -the negative stigma attached to divorce is now largely gone -now 50% of couples end up in divorce court -social pressure to stay in an unhappy marriage has disappeared Legal reform: -divorce is easier that it once was -legally and socially easier -if you are separated for a yea
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