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Writing 2121F/G Lecture Notes - Dependent Clause, Road Movie, Rikers Island

Course Code
Writing 2121F/G
Tim Freeborn

of 2
October 4, 2011
Writing Concisely
-Avoid redundancies “young in age” “baby kitten”
-Use active constructions: convert passive to active; no expletives.
-“there were accusations from parents” = “Parents accused her…”
-Use parallel constructions
-“She was arrested by Marshall George Herrick, who, shackling her, drove her to Salem
Village for her trial” = “Marshall George Herrick shackled, arrested and drove her to
Salem Village.”
-Empty intensifier
-Unnecessarily wordy construction
Essay 2 (Movie Review)
-respond to other reviewers at certain points - but don’t review their review.
-have two paraphrases of an assertion made by other reviews and two quotations from each
-get evidence from details in the film
-dialogue, performances, direction, editing, genre (films that play with the conventions
of a genre)
-Look for the thesis of the reviews - what is the evidence that the writer gives in service of the
-Plot summary is for the intro only
-Little Miss Sunshine Review
- it doesn’t commit to a genre: dark comedy, satire, road movie of family
dysfunction, indie/aesthetic,
-timeworn convention: hollywood movie with “family is important” moral
-Steve Carell’s performance
-character development
-ironic: dark comedy with conservative values. It doesn’t fully commit to the dark
comedy genre because of its Hollywood cliches.
-evidence for judgements:
-gives gas station scene and talking to Olive scene as examples of Carrel’s good
-He doesn’t talk about specific evidence in each paragraph.
-assumes that satire is supposed to treat objects with exaggeration and be “dark”.
assumes that its the darkest black comedy
-if its satire, it must push the boundaries of acceptable behaviour; it seems like
this is what he assumes. Since he says that LMS doesn’t do this, it fails at satire.
-he doesn’t take into account that satire can be genial (the simpsons, etc.)
Identify parts of speech:
-After he abandoned Elsa in Cincinnati, Felix Grieve fled to southern Manitoba
-Miss Plotz married to Baron and became the Baronness Elsa Brown.
-Unfortunately , Baron Leopold Brown also abandoned her.
-Elsa then moved to New York.
-adverb (then can be moved around without changing the meaning = adverb)
-She made money as an artist’s model and an overcoat thief.
-She also invented the milk can brassiere, the postage stamp beauty spot, and the cake hat
-He bailed her out of Riker’s Island prison, where she was incarcerated for petty theft.
Underline each subordinate claude in the passage: (contains a verb and is introduced by
relative pronoun; it can’t stand alone as a sentence)
Her favourite fashion accessory, which she wore around her neck , was a birdcage that
contained a living but wilted canary . After she left jail , she began shaving her head and painting
her scalp with vermillion ringworm medicine.
“that”, “which” and “after” are relative pronouns
this can’t be a subordinate clause because it doesn’t contain a verb.
red = verbs
Underline each prepositional phrase in the passage: (consists of preposition, noun and
words that modify the noun) look for “of, to, at, in” that are followed by nouns.
The act did not endear her to the terrified poets of New York City. After she announced that all
Americans were hopeless bourgeois, William Brown accompanied her to the dock and prayed for
the speedy departure of the boat that would take her to Europe.