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WR2121 Lecture October 4: Writing Concisely, Subordinate Clauses

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Course Code
Writing 2121F/G
Tim Freeborn

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October 4, 2011 Writing Concisely - Avoid redundancies “young in age” “baby kitten” - Use active constructions: convert passive to active; no expletives. - “there were accusations from parents” = “Parents accused her…” - Use parallel constructions - “She was arrested by Marshall George Herrick, who, shackling her, drove her to Salem Village for her trial” = “Marshall George Herrick shackled, arrested and drove her to Salem Village.” - Empty intensifier - Unnecessarily wordy construction Essay 2 (Movie Review) - respond to other reviewers at certain points - but don’t review their review. - have two paraphrases of an assertion made by other reviews and two quotations from each reviewer. - get evidence from details in the film - dialogue, performances, direction, editing, genre (films that play with the conventions of a genre) - Look for the thesis of the reviews - what is the evidence that the writer gives in service of the thesis? - Plot summary is for the intro only - Little Miss Sunshine Review - unsuccessful: - it doesn’t commit to a genre: dark comedy, satire, road movie of family dysfunction, indie/aesthetic, - timeworn convention: hollywood movie with “family is important” moral - successful: - Steve Carell’s performance - character development - ironic: dark comedy with conservative values. It doesn’t fully commit to the dark comedy genre because of its Hollywood cliches. - evidence for judgements: - gives gas station scene and talking to Olive scene as examples of Carrel’s good performance - He doesn’t talk about specific evidence in each paragraph. - genre: - assumes that satire is supposed to treat objects with exaggeration and be “dark”. assumes that its the darkest bl
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