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Lecture

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Department
Communication Studies
Course
COMN 2111
Professor
Dalton Kehoe
Semester
Fall

Description
Communication in Everyday Life Lecture – January 16 , 2013h Review: Creation and Communication of Meaning • Most of the internal natural acts that enable our communication – perception,  cognition, are schematic. • They begin in the emotional areas of our brain o Expressed through our non­verbals o Out of our conscious control • Automatic, fast, and certain o We know what we need to say, we know how to say it, and we think what  we have said is correct • High probability of being inaccurate in complicated situations o We respond very quickly o Through non­verbals like tone of our voice or facial reaction o Leap up the inference ladder o Leads to complicated communication • Most of our external natural acts are o How we express these internal reactions o Self­protective, judgmental and controlling in complicated situations o Preserving our self­worth Conclusions of Review • To be truly effective communicators in complicated situations we need to  perform: UNNATURAL ACTS! o These include acts of emotional self­management Emotional Self­Management • The voice of emotional self­management • In difficult situations • Change “hot” to “cool” reactions • We can learn to change our thinking and self­talk to manage our feelings from: o Rage, Fury, Anger o Despair, Depression o Severe guilt, Remorse o Self­hate o Severe hurt o Anxiety, fear, panic o Annoyance, irritation o Sadness o Regret o Self­disappointment o Mild bruising o Concern • To cooler feelings and effective interpersonal talk • When you change from “HOT” to “COOL” feelings: o Cool your body down  Heart over 100 beats a minute – starts biochemistry of emotional  hi­jack Skills and Conditions for Effective Communication Hit or miss communication? • We often do not respond effectively to others when we feel challenged • Since most of our natural responses are automatic, overlearned, unconscious • We need to do something unnatural o Be conscious and manage our reactions Communication Effectiveness: Skills about skills • Managing your internal talk to help you become: o Mindful  Waking up to what’s going on “within us and without us”  We judge each other without delay  We live with “schemas” not reality.  The truth we speak is our own truth  Recognize our inference ladder – don’t jump to “one­clue”  conclusions  Wait as moment. Be patient  No matter how much you see, you are still guessing, so respond to  what’s happening with a “hypothesis” not a conclusion  Look for more information. Ask questions.  We “mind read” for motives – attribution. • Ask first, don’t just attribute motives to them.  Describe your perceptions and ask for confirmation of what you  saw/heard o Flexible, and a   Try not to react emotionally to the unpredicted in others • You’re only responding to your predictions about them –  not them • Being open to something new means learnin
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