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Lecture

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Department
Communication Studies
Course
COMN 2111
Professor
Dalton Kehoe
Semester
Fall

Description
Communication in Everyday Life Lecture – January 30 , 2014 C.O.N.T.R.O.L TALK Three Types of Talk • Connect talk, control talk, dialogue talk status When control talk appears • Recognized power difference between people o Teach, coach, manage, sell – light control • Form of persuasive talk • Existing conflict situation o Struggle over truth, intentions, blame • Small talk turns into problem talk o Agreement suddenly disappears o Face threatened Assumptions of CONTROL o Manage other/situation o To maintain my face o If I persist – you change (keep repeating ourselves til the person  agrees) o My story is obvious and is the truth o Truth based on real data – my data o I have access to all the data o Heavy control o I assume I know what you meant o You are to blame Critique – Complaint o Assume: o Your view is obvious and right o Other has to change o Their behavior is incorrect, incomplete, inappropriate o We see them as o Incorrect: we argue the “right” approach; we clarify flaws in their thinking; use  rational persuasion and more information to get them to “see things right” o Incomplete (inadequate): we teach – new information/techniques; coach skills;  sell them on trying a different way; so they can “do things right” o Inappropriate: immoral, unethical, socially inept – bad effects on us or someone  or thing we care about. We preach, use emotional persuasion…to get them to “do  the right thing” Offer new Information o Your data o Your perspectives/arguments o Advice o Teaching o Direction o “im in control here and I know what’s right o Positive inducements to change o Praise o If…then promises o Low compulsion Negotiate Change in other o Ask questions only to seek clarity of understanding of your info o Ask questions only for agreement o Listen for leverage – find weaknesses in what someone says so you can give your  perspective o Reframe your arguments around their apparent weakness, uncertainty Style elements of CONTROL o I talk from critical judgment o You­messages: tell them their story o Ask questions to probe for agreement and/or understanding of my story o Listen for leverage – for agreeme
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