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Lecture

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Department
Communication Studies
Course
COMN 2111
Professor
Dalton Kehoe
Semester
Fall

Description
Communication in Everyday Life Lecture – February 6 , 2014h Control Talk Three Types of Talk • Connect talk • Control Talk • Dialogue Talk Light Control Works in the Right Context: Summary • When the other person really needs or wants what we have • Has far less power or knowledge than we do • Feels they have little to contribute in the situation Outside of the right context: • They don’t see themselves as needing what we have • They resist us o They have their own ideas they think we are imposing o They simply resist to show independence • So the other responds with light control • We resist their efforts and come back with more light control • Light control becomes competitive Control and Influence • Tactics – passive light control • Negative expertise – punished by the nature of things • Negative self­feelings – say other will feel worse • Negative altercasting – cast them into negative role Techniques used in competitive light control • Competing to be “right” o Trivialize: make light of what they are saying o Tell them they don’t have enough data; or bad data (you don’t know what  you’re talking about) o Demand proof (how do you know) o Ignore them o Interrupt them o Discount what they say “you gotta be kidding” o Ask leading questions o Neutralize their opinion – “so what everybody knows that” Heavy Control Talk • You­messages • Labels – “You’re an idiot” • Commands – “Do it” – (you is unspoken) • Judgment – “You’re wrong” • Blame – “You made me…” • Accusation “You don’t care” You­Messages • Focus on the person rather than the behavior/situation • Is a disguised feeling statement • Places blame rather than problem solves • Other has no choice but to defend • Avoids ownership – inv
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