ENGL1010 Lecture : Research Essay Feedback.doc
Document Summary
Try starting w/something specific perhaps a scene of you & your brother playing video games. Check for dropped quotes (cr calls them hanging quotes) there is one on page 4. Quotes need to be blended with words of your own. Try to weave in your analysis, comments and views throughout the essay. The information in your current ending paragraph is okay, but try to end with something specific. Don"t forget how effective the diamond structure is. Draft title & author: video games: positive or negative effect?, chantz. The way you organized your essay seems fine. Your topic is very interesting, especially when you discuss the experiences of real. People, like your brother, your roommate nick, and yourself. It gets less interesting when you just discuss facts & statistics from outside sources. You might try discussing your (or someone else"s) experience first, and then use facts from secondary sources.
