● Hatching (4-5 to 10 months): Kids are able to move away somewhat.Actively engaged in
exploring caretaker’s body. Interested in others besides the caretakers. Increased motor
skills (sitting, creeping, crawling).Any kind of disturbances led to character disorders.
However, the reason problems happen at this period is because parents discourage
● Practicing (10-16 Months): The child practices being independent. They delight in their
independence and autonomy. “Love affair with the world” → Everything is exciting,
interesting, and amazing. Kids need confirming, admiration, mirroring. Disturbances
happen when caretakers use the child narcissistically (the parent is so self absorbed they
find their own needs more important than their child needs). If disturbances occurs,
○ Cueing: When parents look at their kids to communicate something (i.e. “the
○ Refueling: When a kid separates, but then has to go back “home”.
● Rapprochement (1.5-2 years): Learning and relearning important ways of being. Terrible
2s → temper tantrums. Why? → Growing awareness of separation from the mother. The
kid has a weird mix of wanting to be independent and wanting to have a parent with
them. Psychologically speaking, the kid is omnipotent. They are the center of the
universe. But then they realize that the are little and that they are actually dependent.
Kids start to develop stranger anxiety here. It takes some time and effort to resolve
rapprochement issues. You don’t want to reward closeness and punish distance. You just
have to be available.
○ Ambivalence: Mixed feelings toward the same person.
○ Splitting: The world is all good, or all bad. This is why parents have to be as
consistent as possible. As the kid grows, they begin to understand that humans
have a darkside.
○ When you have people that