– establishing patterns for structure and communication
– specified by social norms
– relationships determined by parties involved
– taking steps directs its development
– never expect to be perfect
– state message carefully to be more understood
– “let me get this straight, is this what you meant?”
– be a good listener
Skills of an Effective Listener
– Be alert for nonverbal cues
– Ask questions about feelings you sense – without prying
– Attempt to reflect back feelings of the speaker's (is this correct?)
– Be aware of your own nonverbal cues
– Reserve judgement
– Try not to give advice
– Don't try to turn the other persons conversation around to talk about you
– Be in the here and now, and not somewhere else
Summary: Active listening is an all involving inter-communication between two people
– Self assessing
– Who does most of the talking?
– Who does most of the listening?
– What leads to difficulties in communicating?
– How much communicating is relevant?
– What kind of emotional climate is created?
Characteristics of interpersonal satisfaction
– Shared purposes: sense of something that was on the slide he changed
– Mutual needs satisfied:
– Effective structure: rules and limits
– Good communication: conveying of thoughts and feelings
– Sensitivity to self and others: accurately interpreting conditions and events Awareness: personal, social, and situational awareness
– Realistic view of self (Johari window)
– Unique interpersonal style distinctive way of relating to others
– Accurate (honest) view of other (no halo effect)
– Accurate view of the relationship
– Is it satisfying?
– Are dissatisfactions present?