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SOC 030 (40)

How I predict Divorce Notes.doc

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SOC 030
Stacy Silver

How I predict Divorce Notes The Harsh Start Up – When the conversation begins with criticism or sarcasm – When discussing a problem both people say that the other person is the problem rather than the actual problem itself (ex: division of housework) – 96% of the time you can predict how a 15 minute conversation will end after the first 3 minutes The Four Horsemen 1) Criticism 1. Blaming the problem on the other person rather than the action that is upsetting you 2. Complaint is when you just talk about the actual problem itself 2) Contempt 1. Name calling, eye rolling, sneering, hostile sarcasm 2. Shows that you are disgusted with the other person 3. Couples who are contemptuous of each other are more likely to suffer from infectious illnesses (ex: colds, flu, etc) 4. Ex: “You always spend too much money.” 3) Defensiveness 1. Defensiveness is your way of blaming the other person 4) Stonewalling 1. When one partner tunes out / withdraws from the situation 2. More common among men
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