5 Amendments.docx

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History, American
Margaret Ingate

Donna Kwon September 17, 2008 Mrs. Hannah Social Studies “You know what? You can go *bleep* your *bleeping* *bleep* *bleeping* *bleep* because I don’t *bleeping* give a *bleeping* *bleeeep* to whatever *bleeping* *bleep* you *bleeping* do! *Bleep*!” As you can see, I like my freedom of expression. “I *bleeping* don’t *bleeping* like your *bleeping* *bleep* God, so you can *bleeping* go *bleeping* stuff it! I also like my freedom to chose my religion. Now, let’s say that those freedoms were taken away from me. Not just me, from all of us. (This means you.) [insert girlish screams here] Let’s also say that quite a few rights were taken away. How about we say half of them? Five’s a nice round number, no? What do you suppose would happen if half of your rights were suddenly obliterated from the Bill of Rights, spontaneously combusted before your very eyes? MASS CHAOS!!! Ehem. Other than the fact that I would die rather than have my precious cursing rights—(I meant freedom of speech!)— taken away from me, I’m pretty sure the rest of the United States would would be panicking as well. Or not. Either way, I have taken the liberty to write a note in case of such happenings. This way, whoever is trying to take over the world at the time will have a perfect representation on which amendments I’m particularly attatched to, and which ones he (or she—women can be dictators too) is free to condemn to the firey pits of DOOM. Well, the most useless amendment in this case is the ninth amendment, which basically means, “Your rights cannot be taken away.” Well, if I have to chose five of my rights to be taken away, then technically…I just lost my rights. So…err…this one’s kind of useless now. Well, Mr. (or Mrs.) Obliteratoroftheuniverse, feel free to bomb the ninth amendment! I salute you! Another equally useless (to me) amendment is the second, which translates to “the right to bear arms.” I don’t really need weapons. Sure, I’ll use one if I have to, but that’s self protection. If push comes to shove, I can always just steal my friend’s butcher knife. Or hire an assassinator. Now, you might be thinking, “This writer is inco
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