PSYC 301 Lecture Notes - Lecture 1: John Bowlby, Mental Model, Social Psychology
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PSYC 301 TEST 2
• “The Harry Question” – can men and women be friends or does sex always get in the
way?
• John Bowlby
o Looking at what happens to children with their relationship with their parents;
specifically, a child and their mother
o He looked at the monkey experiment with the milk mom and cloth mom in regard
to attachment
o Two types of attachment:
Secure: if parents are loving then a secure base is formed where the child
can go out into the world but know they always have a home to go to.
Non-secure: two styles of nonsecure attachment:
Anxious ambivalent: attached at mother’s hip
Avoidant: avoiding mother
o Mental model hypothesis: how you form relationships with parents is how you
will form relationships with people in the future. If you don’t respond to the needs
of an infant, it sets up for nonsecure attachment.
o Mary DS Ainsworth worked with Bowlby on attachment. She was previously his
student.
• Distancer-pursuer: the more someone pursues you, the more you distance yourself
• Hazam and Shover took Bowlby’s ideas and put it in terms of a romantic relationship
• Zick Rubin looked at intimacy
o Intimacy: having trust in your partner and being able to be vulnerable; close,
familiar and usually affectionate or loving relationship with another person.
o Social psychologist that said nature of love is made up of:
Attachment – the need to be with a certain person
Caring – valuing other person’s needs as much as your own
Intimacy – sharing private thoughts, feelings and desires with another
person
• Sydney Jourard
o Wrote “The Transparent Self”
o Defined intimacy as the act of opening up/disclosure
• John Lee
o Theory for what are the components of love: used a color wheel
Red (eros) – erotic/passionate. Thrive on tantalizing nature of love; have
an idea of ideal love. Eros lovers are monogamous and sex occurs early on
in the relationship.
Violet (mania) – manic. Mix between red and blue. Passionate and
playful love; highly volatile, obsession; fueled by low self-esteem,
jealousy, envy, control.
Blue (ludus) – sport/game. About conquest; playful, flirtatious and careful.
Don’t care much about having a partner, they like to have fun; often don’t
share intimacy with lover.
Green (pragma) – practical. Mix between blue and yellow. Love
driven by head and not the heart; less emotional.
Yellow (storge) – friendship. Affectionate love that slowly develops out of
the friendship. Passion and sex are less important than friendship and
intimacy.
(agape) – divine/spiritual. Mix between yellow and red. Selfless,
true love. Enduring, unconditional, patience.
• Robert Weiss
o Provisions of social relationships
o Divides provisions into two groups
Security
Attachment (provision) – is usually what you find in a romantic
relationship or friendship
Nurturance – when an adult takes on the assistance for a child
Guidance – when you seek the council of a trusted friend or
authoritative figure
Affiliation – if you don’t get these needs met, you will feel lonely
Social integration – meeting their friends. Presents a sense of
community
Reassurance of worth – focuses on competence
Reliable alliance – helps you know you can depend on this person.
This is about trust
• Robert Sternberg
o Triangle of love theory
Intimacy – liking
(intimate liking; deep
friendship & bond)
Commitment – empty
love; 2 people are
committed to stay
together
Passion – infatuation;
everything they do is
amazing
Romantic love – romance
driven by passion
Companionate love –
personal relationship that
you build with someone;
family
Fatuous love –
commitment motivated
by passion but not stable
Consummate love –
almost impossible
to achieve. Still
have to nurture the
three factors
o Triangle love of hate
• Helen Fischer’s personality types
o Explorer
▪ Low dopamine; fueled by dopamine
▪ Looking for excitement
o Builder
▪ Literal, fact oriented, rule followers, traditional
▪ Driven by serotonin
o Negotiators
▪ People person with strong verbal skills, imaginative, see big picture,
compassionate and nurturing personality
▪ Fueled by estrogen
o Directors
▪ Direct, decisive, analytical, good with computers
▪ Driven by testosterone
• Chemistry.com matches people based on these
o Don’t match similar personalities
• People who get dumped – their VTA is triggered
• How someone handles a break-up is based on what area of the brain is triggered
• 36 questions for falling in love test: 3 sets of 12
o Small talk
o Facts
o “You and I” or “we” statements
• Love is an emotion and it is a momentary state
o People typically think of love as forever
Negation of Intimacy –
characterized by repulsion and
disgust; seeks distance
Commitment – decision and is
characterized by thoughts of
devaluation (contempt); “cold
hate” made up my mind about
you and theirs nothing you can
do
Passion – shows up as
anger and fear in response
to a threat; anger =
approach, fear = distance
“hot hate”
Boiling hate (revulsion)
Simmering hate
(loathing)
Seething hate
(revilement)
Burning hate – need for
annihilation; this is a need
for annihilation – this is
the most dangerous of all
of them