CFS 201 Lecture 5: notes Ch. 5-12

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Child & Family Studies
CFS 201
Dr.Kamala Ramadoss

Chapter 5: Love and Choosing a Life Partner What is Love? Love is a deep and vital emotion o Not a crush Love satisfies legitimate personal needs o Vs. illegitimate personal needs Love involves caring and acceptance o Accepting a person for who they are; o Not trying to change them Do men and women care differently? Research shows that women and men value psychic as well as sexual intimacy. Feelings of intimacy: desire and expressing those desiresfeelings are not the same thing. In our society, women express feelings of love more than men do. Sociologist Francesca Cancian: women are made to feel responsible for loves endurancesuccess. Love is expressed mostly verbally women are the more verbal sex. Nonverbal expressions of love that men may make are not credited as love. Love and Intimacy Intimacy involves sharing that can take place on two levels: o Sexual intimacy o Psychicemotional intimacy engaging in selfdisclosure Commitment Committed lovers have fun together; they also share tedious times The express themselves freely Problems and conflicts: work together Sternbergs Triangle Theory of Love Three components of love: 1. Intimacy: close, connected feelings 2. Passion: drives that lead to romance, physical attraction and sexual consummation. 3. Commitment: the decision to love someone and maintain that love. Three components develop at different times: o Passion is quickest to develop and quickest to fade. o Intimacy develops more slowly. o Commitment develops gradually. Attachment Theory: Recap During infancy and childhood, individuals develop a style of attaching to others. (usually an attachment to the caretaker) Children learn one of three attachment styles:
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