Lecture 1: October 1, 2012
Listening in the Clinic
1. 1984 study by Howard Beckman and Richard Frankel: doctors interrupt patients on average 18 seconds
after they start to speak.
a. Patient satisfaction is based largely on the doctor-patient relationship.
b. Communication training, including listening strategies (Kaiser Permanente workshop)
i. Issues: time management, “mechanic” mentality.
ii. Ways of improving listening, such as: let the patient talk without interruption, ask open-
ended questions, check for accuracy, maintain eye contact.
The Importance of Relationships
Defining Interpersonal Relationships
1. Two or more people.
2. Who are independent
3. Interact with consistent patterns
4. And have interacted over time.
Interpersonal Relationships are Important
Healthy interpersonal relationships:
1. Help to reduce loneliness
2. Enhance self-esteem
3. Contribute to emotional and physical health
4. Contribute to happiness
5. Help maximize pleasure and minimize pain
6. Give intellectual, physical, and emotional stimulation
“Dark Side” to interpersonal relationships
d. Deception/getting taken advantage of
Relationships are dynamic:
1. are always being negotiated / constructed through communication.
2. Have phases.
3. Incorporate conflicts and contradictions
Relationships are Created and Negotiated through Communication
Along with meanings, identities, and other aspects of our realities.
Opposing desires within the same person
1. Primary contradictions:
a. Autonomy and connection
b. Stability and change 2
c. Expression and privacy
The Dynamics of Negotiating Emotions, Creating Friendships
1. Friendship and “social survival”
a. Emotional coaching
The Dynamics of “Being Hurt”
Yangelisti, Young, Carpenter-Theune and Alexander
- Disciplinary background: data: Questionnaires
- “Being Hurt” as a constructed reality.
a. Causes of hurt are multidimensional
b. People can perform “being hurt” in different ways
c. Causes of hurt shape how people understand their relationships and themselves
1. Interpersonal relationships are dynamic, diverse, and constructed through communiation.
2. Positive and negative experiences and outcomes stem from interpersonal relationships.
3. The ideas of phases, contradictions, emotions help us think about and analyze relationships.
Lecture 2: October 3, 2012
The Idea of Gendered Communication
Women and men tend to communication differently.
Verbal communication tends to play a different role in women’s versus men’s interpersonal relationships.
Gender Communication as a Good Idea
1. Offer systematic observations of and scholarly explanations for differences.
2. Lend insights into patterns of communication.
3. Lend insights into interpersonal relationships.
Gender Communication as Dangerous Idea
1. Diversity in each group is hidden.
2. Generalizations can lead to stereotyping.
3. Gender intersects with many other aspects of identity (sexuality, social class, race, ethnicity)
Gender Differences in Communications: What are they?
1. The role of talk (verbal communication)
2. Emphasis on cooperation (connection) versus competition (hierarchy)
3. The valuing of different kinds of talk
4. Talking and identities
Role of Talk in Relationships
1. Women and talk (Lips, CWT Reading 31; also related to: Tannen, 1990) CRS 181
a. Building intimacy
b. Discussing personal feelings (self-disclosure) and receiving support in return
i. Example: Ginny and Francine’s “emotional coaching” conversation in CWT
Cooperation Versus Competition
a. The relative valuing of cooperation (connection) versus competition (hierarchy)
b. Stemming primarily from childhood experiences (socialization; Maltz &Borker, 1982)
Valuing of Different Kinds of Talk
Winters and Duck (CWT, Reading 25), Coates (CWT, Reading 32)
- Profane language
Talk and Identities: General Observations
1. Young men and display of heterosexual orientation (Coates, CWT; Cameron, 1997)
a. Will go over the top to emphasize their sexual orientation
2. Young women and display of orientation to their bodies (CWT Reading 8 by Mary Gergen, not
Talk and Identities: A More Subtle Understanding
1. Shields, CWT Readign 9
a. “doing gender” (West & Zimmerman, 1987)
2. As we “do gender”, we can also be said to perform
a. Insanity and sanity, Basketball fandom, Drag Queen identities, “Good Student” identities
Lecture 3: Communicating and Creating Worlds – September 5, 2012
Wittgenstein: each situation has its own set of rules.
a. Language game encompasses more than language, can be behavior as well.
i. Examples: Visiting the doctor, asking for money, going to the supermarket.
b. Rules of behavior vary by context and situation
i. These rules apply to all kinds of behavior.
c. Breaking the rules of everyday conversation
i. Breaching experiments (Garfinkel)
ii. Ethnomethodology: methods of the people, changes across societies.
Garfinkel: USC Professor, told students to break the rules of everyday interaction.
Examples: Stand strangely in an elevator.
(Review CWT, pages 26-28)
d. Trying to Pass for Human (Text Chat Conversation)
i. Emotions cannot be transferred, because it is not necessarily programmed.
ii. Need algorithms; does well with simple language games.
Communicative Competence (Dell Hymes 1972)
1. Ability to communicate adequately in the situations that constitute life.
a. In different cultural/social contexts.
b. Implications of saying X versus Y for the speaker and hearer. 4
c. Value-laden nature of linguistic expressions.
i. Value of “please” or “thank you”.
2. Rules About Uses of Space
a. Cultural differences in how close to stand to a friend.