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COM 225 (34)
Lecture

Interpersonal Communication Lecture 2.13.14 - Gottman

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Department
Communication
Course
COM 225
Professor
Dr.Tutzauer
Semester
Spring

Description
COM225 Lecture 2.13.14  Research of John Gottman  Why Marriages Succeed or Fail  Background: over the course of years, couples were observed discussing a topic about  which they disagreed.  He also measured their physiological changes such as heart rate,  palm moisture, etc.  Gottman characterized 3 marital styles: (note: all three types can be successful) 1) Validating Couples: emotions and opinions are validated, mutual respect, few  disagreements, able to compromise, non­coercive, good friends, value “we” over  me 2) Volatile Couples: both partners highly involved, high energy, heated arguments,  express negative and positive emotions, within a warm and loving marriage, view  each other as equals, believe marriage should emphasize and strengthen  individuality  3) Avoidant Couples: “conflict minimizers,” downplay their differences, accept the  positive aspects of marriage and ignore the rest, agree to disagree  The Magic Ratio: Balance is Key – regardless of the marriage style, a successful  marriage will have at least 5 positive interactions to every negative one  Corrosive Forces in a Marriage: Couples who are headed toward divorce often exhibit:  criticism, contempt, defensiveness,  and stonewalling Criticism: blaming or attacking one’s personal character rather than focusing on the  behavior – global, nonspecific  ­*differs from a complaint: complaint is more specific and less damaging to a  relationship – focuses on the behavior or action
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