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PSYC 221
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Love 10/21/2013 I. History of Love Attitudes have varied in four ways: Cultural value. Is love desirable? Sexuality. Should it be sexual? Sexual orientation. Hetero? Same-sex? Marital status. Should we love spouses? Ancient Greece admired platonic love by two men, ancient Egypt married siblings, ancient Rome cared about carrying bloodline th th 17 and 18 century Europeans began to believe romantic passion could have happy ending The link to love in marriage not widespread idea-mainly occurs in U.S. because individualism II. Types of Love Triangular Theory of Love First component=Intimacy is emotional Second component=passion(arousal, desire) is motive Third component=commitment(stability) is cognitive Different amounts of these compose different sized triangles Nonlove=absence of all 3 components(acquaintances) Liking=intimacy high, passion & commitment low(friends) Infatuation=strong passion without intimacy or commitment(aroused by those you barely know) Empty love=commitment without intimacy or passion(burnt out relationships) LOVE IS… Romantic love=high intimacy and passion(summer love) Compassionate love=high intimacy and high commitment(long marriage, passion has died down) Fatuous love=passion and commitment without intimacy(whirlwind marriage) Consummate love= intimacy, passion, and commitment(easy to do for awhile, hard to maintain) Components can change over time, can experience all types in relationship Passion most variable, least controllable Physiological Perspective Passion activates different brain areas than commitment and affection Fischer states three interrelated biological systems that control components of love Lust(sex hormones) Attraction(neurotransmitters dopamine/serotonin) more dopamine with partners around, less pain Attachment(comfort, security) driven by compassionate love by neuropeptide oxytocin III. Romantic Passionate Love Passion needs activation and arousal Arousal as two factors: Physiological arousal like fast heart beat Belief that a person is cause of arousal Arousal fuels attraction, no matter what type of arousal occurs American couples decide to live together when passion is at a peak Thought Lovers think about each other different than they do their friends One theme=intimacy(openness, communication, trust) Second theme= dependence(longing for the other) Caring(romance partners care about wellbeing) Partly selfish and generous b/c they make you feel good and you make them feel good. You’d do anything for them and be miserable without them “love is blind” people underestimate/ ignore partners’ faults love helps focus attention to one preferred partner to exclusion of others self-expansion model suggests love causes self concepts to expand IV. Companionate Love “confortable, affectionate, trusting, love for a likeable partner based on deep sense of friendship, involving companionship and enjoyment of shared activities” long lasting, satisfying marriages have more companionate love b/c they view their lovers as their best friend & they like them as a person predominant importance of friendship easier to detect in companionate love b/c intimacy paired with commitment rather than romantic love where intimacy is paired with passion Physiological Foundation Oxytocin more involved in companionate love(
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