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PSYC 221
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Chapter 7 Friendship 10/17/2013 I. Attributes of Friendship Affection for each other: trust, respect, loyalty Communion: self-disclosure, support Companionship: share interests, fun Friendship=voluntary, personal relationship, provides intimacy and assistance, two parties like each other and seek company A. Differences between Friendship and Love: Friendships are easier to dissolve, rules are less confining Spend less of free time together than romantic partners no sexual intimacy, fewer obligations, same results for relationships of same sex B. Respect Commendable moral qualities, consideration for others, acceptance, honesty, willing to listen More respect=more satisfying C. Trust Alert to wishes, behaves unselfishly Makes relationship relaxed; without it we are guarded and not content D. Capitalization We share good news with friends and receive enthusiastic, rewarding responses E. Social Support Emotional support=affection; it has physiological effects(low BP, low cholesterol) Physical comfort=hugs Advice support=guidance Material support= tangible assistance Some people are better providers of social support than others due to attachment styles(secure vs. insecure) or more attentive to reading people Best support fits our needs and preferences(called invisible support that goes unnoticed by recipient) because support can come with costs Its not what people do for us it’s what we think they do for us that matters in the long run: when we’re content, we perceive them as supportive, when we’re not content, we perceive them as supportive Personal characteristics affect perceptions of social support: doubtful people take biased, undeserved critical view of others efforts to help them F. Responsiveness Attentive/supportive recognition of needs and interests Perceived partner responsiveness=judgment that someone is attentive, respectful, caring, supportive is powerfully rewarding-drawn to these people Being responsive to partners is good for themAND us II. The Rules of Friendships Shared cultural beliefs of what should/should not be done Broken rules=turmoil and disapproval Only followed about 50% of time but bring more satisfaction A. Childhood With age, increasingly able to appreciate others’perspectives and understand wishes Changes of interpersonal needs: acceptance in elementary years, intimacy in preadolescence, sexuality in adolescence: needs get added onto one another In preadolescence we develop full blown friendships of self disclosure, empathy, altruism, can experience true loneliness for first time Success in childhood relationships paves way for success in adulthood B. Adolescence Spend 14% of their time with families Attachment to friends: Proximity seeking: making contact Separation protest: resist being apart Safe haven: turn to figure in times of stress(changes to friend at ages 11-14) Secure base: use them as foundation for exploring new environments College students rely on parents for secure base as opposed to friends C. YoungAdulthood Intimacy versus isolation=learn how to form enduring, committed intimate relationships College students satisfaction with relationships lowest in the fall before they find companions- rises in spring After college, time with friends decline and time with lovers increases, but number of lovers decreases D. Midlife Dyadic withdrawal=as people see more of lover, they
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