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PSYC 334 (48)

Interdependence theory

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PSYC 334
Dylan Selterman

LOVE Valentine’s Day Gift giving Altruism and generosity feels good Money CAN buy happiness— if you spend it on others But insecurely-attracted folks give presents more out of obligation and fear rather of abandonment It can be materialistic and stressful Must spend money On your relationship if you don’t get what you want Science of Valentine’s Day Heteronormative: promotes male- female romance as the norm Singlism: “deficit identity”- people are missing something if they are not in a relationship, and stigma Couples are 2.5 times more likely to break up around Valentine’s Day (to avoid stress) Love is an old/new idea Universal experience— poems, songs, epic stories Romantic love has been documented in all human societies through-out all of time Cross- cultural attitudes In western culture it is “romanticized” In Asian cultures, passionate love is a negative Loves does not equate to marriage, mostly economic and political People use to marry for economic and social reasons, today marriage places significantly more vale on love Falling in love SBU study- diverse ethnic/ racial/ cultural samples prove that there are similar precursors to initial attraction Demographics (self-report) Women more likely to admit being in love and loving deeper Men more likely to admit falling in love more often and love “at first sight” Stronger social network effects- collectivists/ communal cultures Reciprocity Much stronger than for initial attraction Both partners need to be into it Consistent across cultures Unrequited love is not normal Readiness Strong desire to be in love, life goal Relationship status- not in the right frame of mind to fall for someone if they are already in love with someone else “readiness” correlates with speed “falling” implies lack of control and rapid transition but readiness, reciprocity, and social influence are all strong predictors… so not automatic? Love and Commitment Possibilities a. They are identical b. They are largely, but not completely, overlapping c. They are completely independent d. Commitment is a component of love e. Love is a component of commitment Large overlap between the content of both love and commitment Sternberg’s Triangular theory of love Intimacy is the most central piece to love. Overlap between the schema one has for oneself and for another person (closeness) is a strong determination of love. Global/ specific intimacy Overall closeness (IOS- inclusion of self) correlates with IOS in specific life domains: Personal/ social life .5 to .7 Physical life (health, exercise, geography) .4 to .5 Work life .35 to .4 All correlated with relationship satisfaction No gender differences Themes of Intimacy Positive affect- happiness, surprise, joy, tenderness Surrender of control Behavior not directed/ controlled “free flowing”, less self-conscious “lost in the moment” Depth; psychological significance- describe their feelings as being deep Nature- heightened sensory imagery and natural world; fantasies IOS (closeness)- cognition Social identity and resources become “closer” Material (ex: house/ car may be shared or keys to) Knowledge/ expertise Perspective- taking (evaluate the world as it affects the partner- higher empathy for partner) Traits (e.g. religious beliefs, politics, etc.) IOS and falling in love Self-expansion increase in self-schema by incorporating partner “who are you today?” asked over 10 weeks- significant differences occur in people in relationships, add more descriptions and etc. to their schema IOS descriptive traits: self and partner match (true/ false of both)= quicker judgment/ response IOS resource allocation (“anonymous dictator”) equal between self and close friend: uneven between self and acqua
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