CMN 120 Lecture Notes - Lecture 4: Harry Harlow, Volkswagen, Storge

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8 Mar 2017
Lecture 4 - 1/25 Attraction
Introduction to Attraction
- Centers (1972) = judged the most important qualities in a potential partner (at least in
- had both men & women come up with female desirable traits (results: more
about how they look & household abilities)
- List included: physical attractiveness, affectionate ability, social ability, domestic
ability, interpersonal understanding, and moral and spiritual understanding
- had both women & men come up with male desirable traits (results: more about
achievement and getting money)
- List included: achievement, leadership, occupational ability, economic ability,
entertaining ability, intellectual achievement
Types of Attraction
1) Task Attraction = you attracted to someone that can help you accomplish a goal (Ex:
complete a task/project)
2) Physical Attraction = is the person hot or not
- we are more likely to get involved with someone romantically or even friendly if
we find them physically attractive
- matching hypothesis = we will interact and become romantically involved w/
those that have similar attractiveness to us
- object characteristic = this is the first thing we notice in other ppl if we are
interested in them in some sort of romantic faction appearance/demeanor is the first
thing we notice when we decide if we’re attracted to someone or not
3) Social Attraction = attracted to someone because we think they will be fun
- Ex: they’re so fun/cool, i wanna hang out with them!
- not necessarily romantic, but it could be
Factors that affect Attraction (can increase or potentially decrease our attraction)
- Proximity = the more you’re physically close/around to someone, the more you’re
attracted to them
- Mere Exposure = the more we are exposed/familiarized to a particular person, the
more we become attracted to them
- Isolation Anxiety = we are attracted to ppl that want to be around other people and
that don’t want to be left alone
- Similarities = we are attracted to ppl who are similar to us (interests, background
- helps us provide a sense of predictability
- provides a sense of self-validation (we feel better about ourselves if they are
similar to us)
- more important at the beginning of the relationship
- Compensatory Hypothesis/Complementary Needs = we will be attracted to ppl who
are strong in our areas of weakness
- “opposites attract”
- in the beginning of a relationship, similarities help bring ppl together but
compensatory hypothesis matters more as relationship progresses
- Reciprocity of Liking = we are attracted to someone who likes us
- show interest in someone, therefore they’ll show interest in u in a reciprocal
Functions that are served by Attraction
I) Need fulfillment
- Schutz’s (1958) 3 Basic Needs:
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1) Inclusion (Involvement) - we need to be near, close, and social interactions
w/ others and can only be completed by being with ppl
2) Affection (Affiliation) - sense of love (not necessarily only romantic, could be
parents-children, bff2bff, siblings, etc.)
3) Control (Dominance) - need to have some distinction of what goes on in our
- we all have a certain desire to have control over some aspects of our lives
- attraction fulfills inclusion and affection needs for everybody
- fulfills inclusion because those attracted to us will want to be around us
- attraction gets you to affection
II) Reward Perspective
- when somebody is attracted to us, they will do things for us
- tangible: dinner, gifts
- intangible: increase self-esteem
Attitudes Toward Romantic Relationships (Lee 1973)
- love at first sight; sex is very important
- emotional
- physically intense; not considered “romantic” love
- sports car
- ludus means play in latin; game-playing love
- fun, not too serious
- no real commitment, “friends with benefits”
- ppl flirt and go in and out of relationship easily
- volkswagon bug
- peaceful, mutual respect, taking time to develop into relationship
- ppl are caring, but not really interested in excitement/passion as much
- want to have a lot of common interests/activities
- type of old car you don’t give up and you continue to put effort into
- list of things met in order to form a relationship
- it has to be practical, logical; “is my partner a good parent?” “can he/she provide
for us?” asking themselves about qualities of potential partners
- ppl tend to be more realistic, and less romantic
- ppl have desire for a long-term relationship
- “Mini Van”
- uncertain or anxious type of love
- a lot of extreme feelings of excitement that hits a peak (elation) and it very
quickly fades away (depression)
- ppl are possessive with their partner and easily jealous when others show
interest in their partner
- ppl don’t like to be taken for granted
- problems in relationship can make them physically ill
- “Unreliable car that always breaks down”
- all-giving without asking for anything in return
- ppl are full of compassion and love/care for others even though they don’t have
close ties with them
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