CMN 120 Lecture Notes - Lecture 10: Online Dating Service, Emotional Affair, Infidelity

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11 Apr 2017
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Lecture 10 - 3/6 The Dark Side of Communication/Interpersonal
Relationships
1. What is the dark side? Stress, deception
1. Occurs in all types of relationships
2. Family, friends, romance, etc
1.1. Happens even in most trustworthy relationships
2. Deception: intentional behavior that creates an impression in the
recipient that the deceiver knows is false
2. Interpersonal Deception Theory/IDT (Buller & Burgoon 1996) (FOUR)
1. Making strategic decisions to manipulate, deceive, not be caught
2. 4 Deceptive Strategies
1.1. Fabrication = creates fiction
1.1.1. Literally make up stuff
1.2. Concealment/Omission = hides a secret
1.2.1. Leave some info out, withholds information
changes perceptions of receiver
1.2.2. Hiding information
1.3. Equivocation/Diversion = dodges the issue
1.3.1. Doesn’t answer, tries to avoid telling the truth
about issue
1.4. Half-Truths = mix truth w/ lies
1.4.1. Mix truth with deceptive statements
2. IDT argues that we are not as good at detecting deception as
we think we are
1.1. No tell-tale signs of lying
2. IDT argues that we need to understand communication as
interactive
1.1. Not just about sender or receiver alone
1.2. Deception is the entire interaction
1.3. We adjust behaviors in response to feedback
2. Strategic deception takes mental effort (task demands)
1.1. A lot of cognitive effort made to deceive people
1.1.1. Esp with complex lie that we told a lot of
people
1.1.2. Hard to keep track of everything straight for
your lie
1.1.3. An overload can cause a deceiver to
engage in non-strategic displays (leakage)
1.1.4. More mental effort for lies than telling truth
2. Every deceptive act has at least three goals (FOUR)
1.1. Accomplish a specific task
1.1.1. Ex: lie on resume to get a job
1.2. Establish a relationship
1.2.1. Ex: Establish by posting false personal info on
online dating to lure in people
1.3. Maintain a relationship
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1.3.1. Ex: lie about cheating to stay with partner (‘no
I’m not!’)
1.4. Save Face or sustain image of one or both parties
1.4.1. Face = self image and public self-image
1.1.1.1. Ex: lie about being robbed when you
actually lost money from gambling
2. 4 Message characteristics that reflect strategic intent (FOUR)
1.1.1. Uncertainty or vagueness
1.1.1.1. Too many details can be more easily
caught
1.1.1.2. More taxing on mental effort to
remember more details requires less mental
effort if we are less specific with the lie
1.1.2. Withdrawal = avoid interacting with person
you deceive, less chances for leakage
1.1.3. Dissociation = distancing ourselves from
what we’ve done; not necessarily the person we’re
lying to (THREE SUBGROUPS)
1.1.1.1. Includes levelers, group references, or
modifiers
1.1.1.1.1. Levelers: remove our own
individual choice (“everyone was going
to a party!” “everyone was doing it”
1.1.1.1.2. Group references: Shift
responsibility to a group (“We all went
to the party together)
1.1.1.1.3. Modifier: downplay intensity of
choice (“Wasn’t a big deal; “I was
bored, so I just went””)
1.1.2. Image/relationship protecting behavior
1.1.1.1. Try to suppress cues that might signal
deception
1.1.1.1.1. Ex: try to appear extra sincere,
engaging in more eye gaze
2. Success depends on quality of message and non-strategic cues
3. Leakage - 4 reasons you can get caught in a lie (FOUR)
1.1. Attempt to control information can create too slick of a
performance
1.1.1. If we perform too well, its gonna create
suspicion in the other ppl
1.2. Lying causes physical arousal
1.2.1. Ex: heart rate, stutter, etc
1.3. Guilt, anxiety and even joy
1.3.1. You start experiencing these different emotions
1.3.2. Guilty: from getting away with that lie
(shown in the face or NV)
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